ChatterBank1 min ago
The Cows Lament
9 Answers
I was talking to an aged aunt yesterday and her Land Army days came up in conversation. This sparked a memory of a poem. Apologies to the real poets on AB. Artificial insemination, I thought it was a breakthrough in the sixties.
The Cows Lament
I've just given birth to a heifer,
And of milk & of pride I am full,
but I am sad to relate
That my lacteal state
Was not brought about by a bull!
I have never been naughty, I swear it,
In spite of the calf that I've borne,
Like the David Brown tractor
I'm Virgo Intacta
I've never had a bull by the horn.
How dreary the fields & the meadows,
The sheep yards are gloomy & grey,
Since a cows' only pleasure
to be taken at leisure
by science has been taken away!
I know that the farm is a business,
In which we must all pull our weight,
But I'd pull & I'd pull
For a strongly built bull
For this phony arrangement I hate!
You must not think I am jealous -
There are things that a cow should not say,
But these land army tarts
Who handle our parts,
Still get it the old-fashioned way!
The Cows Lament
I've just given birth to a heifer,
And of milk & of pride I am full,
but I am sad to relate
That my lacteal state
Was not brought about by a bull!
I have never been naughty, I swear it,
In spite of the calf that I've borne,
Like the David Brown tractor
I'm Virgo Intacta
I've never had a bull by the horn.
How dreary the fields & the meadows,
The sheep yards are gloomy & grey,
Since a cows' only pleasure
to be taken at leisure
by science has been taken away!
I know that the farm is a business,
In which we must all pull our weight,
But I'd pull & I'd pull
For a strongly built bull
For this phony arrangement I hate!
You must not think I am jealous -
There are things that a cow should not say,
But these land army tarts
Who handle our parts,
Still get it the old-fashioned way!
Answers
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