Road rules1 min ago
Somebody Help Me? Please Read?
33 Answers
I'm a 15 year old girl and a few days ago I was talking with my mom and my brother, and at one point they said something like “I think it’s good to think about the future and to imagine yourself where you want to be. It keeps me going.” I actually do that a lot, though I’m beginning to wonder if it’s such a great idea.
When I say ‘thinking about the future’ here, I’m not talking about planning or something like that. I guess ‘day-dreaming’ would be a better word. I spend a lot of time just wandering around the house thinking of different futures. Sometimes it’s more of a “what kind of person am I going to be in 5 or 10 years” kind of thing, other times it’s just thinking about what’s going to happen tomorrow, or, I guess more accurately, what I wish would happen tomorrow.
The problem with this for me is that when I’m doing this, I think it’s some way of resolving issues I have with my present. Seriously, I think if I stopped to think about all the things about my life I don’t like right now I’d go crazy. Lately I think I’ve just been going one day at a time without thinking too much about what’s really happening or worrying about the bigger issues I have with my life. I’m pretty much doing the bear minimum that I have to…and then going to play Call of Duty (omg, I don’t think I realize how much COD is keeping my depression at bay).
Anyway, normally doing something to keep my demons at bay would probably be a good thing. But the thing with this is, I think I’m not responding to being dissatisfied with my life properly. I should be doing things to fix my life, not thinking about them. I realize in theory it should be possible to do both, but what happens (I think) is that by thinking about the future, I’m appeasing the part of my mind that yearns to change things. So when I have an opportunity to actually do something and I want that part of my mind to be screaming its head off… its silent. And so nothing gets done, I take my quiet self-reflecting bus ride home, get home all depressed, think about how things are going to magically be different the next day, and get that part of my mind quiet again so it won’t be telling me to do anything tomorrow either.
Day dreaming is pretty much all that I do all day and it's literally making me sick and depressed because as soon as I get in touch with the "right now" reality, I just start day dreaming again. I don't know how to stop?
When I say ‘thinking about the future’ here, I’m not talking about planning or something like that. I guess ‘day-dreaming’ would be a better word. I spend a lot of time just wandering around the house thinking of different futures. Sometimes it’s more of a “what kind of person am I going to be in 5 or 10 years” kind of thing, other times it’s just thinking about what’s going to happen tomorrow, or, I guess more accurately, what I wish would happen tomorrow.
The problem with this for me is that when I’m doing this, I think it’s some way of resolving issues I have with my present. Seriously, I think if I stopped to think about all the things about my life I don’t like right now I’d go crazy. Lately I think I’ve just been going one day at a time without thinking too much about what’s really happening or worrying about the bigger issues I have with my life. I’m pretty much doing the bear minimum that I have to…and then going to play Call of Duty (omg, I don’t think I realize how much COD is keeping my depression at bay).
Anyway, normally doing something to keep my demons at bay would probably be a good thing. But the thing with this is, I think I’m not responding to being dissatisfied with my life properly. I should be doing things to fix my life, not thinking about them. I realize in theory it should be possible to do both, but what happens (I think) is that by thinking about the future, I’m appeasing the part of my mind that yearns to change things. So when I have an opportunity to actually do something and I want that part of my mind to be screaming its head off… its silent. And so nothing gets done, I take my quiet self-reflecting bus ride home, get home all depressed, think about how things are going to magically be different the next day, and get that part of my mind quiet again so it won’t be telling me to do anything tomorrow either.
Day dreaming is pretty much all that I do all day and it's literally making me sick and depressed because as soon as I get in touch with the "right now" reality, I just start day dreaming again. I don't know how to stop?
Answers
Life is frightening - there' a big wide world out there, and you don't know what to do about it. Well, for a start, you don't have to pigeon-hole yourself to one thing, so, have you any idea, without going off into the realms of fantasy, what you might like? A career? A homelife and family? Talk to the careers officer at school this will give you basic options ,...
11:15 Fri 19th Apr 2013
You talk about "issues" as if they are something bad. Maybe think about the "issues" and find five things it has taught you.
The only advice I would give you is to be self disciplined (not critical) with your time. I am bad with this and feel I could of benefitted from a more disciplined attitude. Life is a book with many chapters it can be hard to see all the chapters to come when stuck in a difficult one.
It is not where you start that is important it is where you end!
The only advice I would give you is to be self disciplined (not critical) with your time. I am bad with this and feel I could of benefitted from a more disciplined attitude. Life is a book with many chapters it can be hard to see all the chapters to come when stuck in a difficult one.
It is not where you start that is important it is where you end!
Daydreaming, as you refer to it, can be a creative process allowing you to mull over possibilities in your mind. But you need to take the next step and start to consider which future you would like to aim for. I'm tempted to say at 15 it isn't too critical, but the sooner one gets one's thoughts together the better one can start to make progress in the general direction chosen. Of course what you mother is referring to is the 5 or 10 year view, What happens tomorrow is a different issue and can be considered a present one. Treat the two separately, rather than try to muddle the two.
Getting depressed during adolescence is hardly unknown. You'll work through it. But it's a good thing to learn self discipline and allocate game playing instant reward with planning and acting to make something of your life. The latter is more satisfying in the long run, and working on good habits now saves a lot of difficultly in the future when you look back and wish you had.
Ultimately this is just a case of honestly making the effort rather than wishing things were already different. Sad to say but there is no short cut: and at the risk of repeating myself, getting into good habits early in life pays dividends later when you naturally get things sorted rather than stand there looking and wishing they already were.
Getting depressed during adolescence is hardly unknown. You'll work through it. But it's a good thing to learn self discipline and allocate game playing instant reward with planning and acting to make something of your life. The latter is more satisfying in the long run, and working on good habits now saves a lot of difficultly in the future when you look back and wish you had.
Ultimately this is just a case of honestly making the effort rather than wishing things were already different. Sad to say but there is no short cut: and at the risk of repeating myself, getting into good habits early in life pays dividends later when you naturally get things sorted rather than stand there looking and wishing they already were.
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