A Cockney and a Jew were discussing how far each could make a dime
reach, and agreed to try it and meet a few days later to see who'd get
the most value out of 50p
The Jew bought a cigar, and smoked one-third the first day and saved
the ashes. He smoked one-third the second day and saved the ashes. He
smoked one-third the third day and again saved the ashes, and on the
fourth day he gave the ashes to his wife to use as fertilizer on her
roses.
He told the Cockney, "I know you can't beat that for stretching 50p
The Cockney said, "I've got you beat. I bought a Polish sausage for 50p
, and the first day I ate one-half, and on the second day I ate
the other half. The third day I used the skin for a condom, and
the fourth day I took a sh!t in the skin and sewed it back up. The
fifth day I took it back to the butcher and told him it smelled like
sh!t.