Three Groans

[marval]

This English landlady had a couple of struggling poets for tenants.

When the poor fellows got behind in their rent, and the landlady was unable to have them evicted, she decided to murder them.

She baked a large scone and put some poison in it, then invited the poets down for tea.

She served each of the chaps a cup of tea and half the scone.

The poison worked as advertised, but of course crime does not pay, and the awful woman was soon arrested.

Feigning innocence, she demanded to know with what she was being charged.

The police inspector replied: "Well, it seems, madam, that you have killed two bards with one scone!"


A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry.

Finally he went to a marriage counsellor.

When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.

"Oh" said the counsellor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."


The games at the Coliseum were scheduled to begin at three o'clock sharp, and Caesar decided to attend.

He called Brutus, and instructed him to have the chariot standing by.

"What time do you want to leave?” inquired Brutus.

The Emperor, knowing that the ride from the palace to the Coliseum would take exactly an hour, and not wishing to be late, replied, "At two, Brute!"

[excelsior-1]

oh yes, three big groans

good ones, marval

[bookbinder]

Hm. I see what you mean about three groans.