My God, Anybody Got An Alzheimer's Parent At Home?

[DTCwordfan]

My sympathy, good luck - and how far along with yours? (some of you, I am aware of). Stories?

Despite oodles of patience, it has been seriously strained today.

1. No recognition that breakfast was on the table.
2. Back at 10.30, and breakfast is still there.
3. Mrs Misery emerges at 11.15, munches most of it back, damning comments over the coffee, even though a fresh one had been proposed.
4. We try an escape back home - lock down and back to bed.
5. Emerges at 2.15, not too bad and we go out to buy the animals flea juice and the dog, a new collar - he's in for an op tomorrow, a non-malignant tumour. "He'll be dead." - Great.
6. Tea out, babies present - ok. Back here around 4. To bed, emerges around 5, Mrs. Misery really set in. Disappears in a huff at 5.20, lock down again.
7. Up at 6.45, 'dinner's half-an-hour away.' Attempt to tell her not to feed the dog with the op ahead (I'll be on nervous sleep tonight) - "He's going to be dead like me" - she's 10 years in her, didn't appreciate me telling her she has no stick, doesn't need glasses, hearing aid, etc (maybe her taste buds have slipped).
8. Dinner 'the lamb is overcooked' - perfection to medium rare and all eaten. Vitriolic comment about sister 1.....phew.
9. Now effed off to bed again.

Good news, my dementia diary for the mater has been updated, the weather really crappy here for the day.

And naomi/jackdaw/Hans/svejk wonder if I am tired and emotional, which I wasn't last night.....Cheers, my dears, I'm certainly opening a new bottle tonight. Watch out!

[Tilly2]

It's time you thought of an alternative placement for your Mater, DTC. You can't go on like this.

[Psybbo]

Commiserations DTC, thinking of you xx

[mazie]

Total Empathy from me my friend. The time came for my Mum and it was the hardest thing I had to do, but, it had to be done for both of us. Enjoy the Vino xxx

[Old_Geezer]

My grandmother went into a care home when her dementia got too bad to cope with. I seriously wonder how much longer I will remain out of one. But my woman complains of the same or similar issues to myself so either we are both heading there, or both worrying more than is necessary.

But I echo Tilly in that you can't demand more of yourself than is fair. If things are that bad maybe you need to consider a way to help your situation.

[scorpiojo]

Do you not have any help, DT?

[DTCwordfan]

we have her down for a home at number 16 - I could get an e-mail into the owner of the chain, having been at Bus. School...she's not quite there yet and I don't want to pull favours, if I can avoid that. Looking at carers but the preferred company want blocks of 6 hours, which is double what we need, 3 hours in the morning would be fine.

[237SJ]

Do you think that you have come to the point whereby there is nothing else that can be gained by your mother living with you? It that is the case then you have to think of yourself and your Mum and maybe she will be better off in someone else`s care

[DTCwordfan]

when I was away, scorpio, split between an excellent carer and my middle sis, first time she's done it and a shock.....even though she has worked in an old folks home. When I was back mid-term, I asked the mater, 'How was S?' - response, a blunt "NO" - fearing about Julie, "She's nice." (a big difference in the pros and family, obviously, and for my sister not to have her nose put out of place over it.....)

[DTCwordfan]

237, as the response above your comment.....

[DTCwordfan]

just frustrating and my eldest sis is not around for a good whinge....

Nice wine, this 6285 from the Margaret River in Oz, poor barssteward who planted this one up probably had that convict number!

[DTCwordfan]

thanks for the comments by the way and cheers.....at least peace around here now, the issue ahead preventing the dog being fed o-night...

[Bertrum]

Mother-in-law went through the same in the end we couldn't cope and had to have her placed in a care home.
She was happier and we were happier. You have my sympathy but seriously think about that option even though it may seem cruel and heartless it could be best for both of you

[Psybbo]

I think they treat careers better than family, hugs DT

[Psybbo]

Carers not careers ^^

[DTCwordfan]

we are, Bertrum.....just a bad day as I am not good with sulking and darn-right self-centred misery sessions (as depression it is not, that's very different). Patience, dtc, one learns it in spades squared!

[DTCwordfan]

Agree, Psybbs, how's your Mum...? (email if you wish)

[Prudie]

I'm lucky to have never had to deal with this so can't offer any advice or stories or proffer anything constructive but really do feel for you DTC.

[wolf63]

My parents died before we got to that stage (mum 58 & dad 75) but there was no way that I was moving in with them or them me. I can barely look after myself.

My dog went senile in his last year or so. He would get lost in the flat - but at least it is legal to put them out of their misery.

I hope the hound is going to be okay because looking after a poorly mutt and your mudder might drive you over the edge completely

[DTCwordfan]

lol, the dog is far easier, wolfie......!! Think I may let him sleep on my bedroom floor tonight (for the first time and to remove the temptation for the mater if she roams....) He knows something is up....loved the nurse when he went in for diagnosis....

[Old_Geezer]

Yeah; they seem to like my leg too.