I was waiting in line for a club last night and the guy at the door was checking IDs. He was taking ages.
The bank wants to repossess my tree-house. They say I haven’t kept up my mortgage payments but I am convinced it is just a mix-up from when I moved branches.
My partner said he is leaving me because apparently I have a fetish for electrical surges. I was shocked when I heard this.
I have managed to give up smoking cold turkey. I find it is better to cook and eat it.
My football team played a team from Saturn today. We ran rings round them.
I Thought I would get a nice framed picture of the twins for my wife’s birthday. Turns out she doesn’t share my admiration for the Krays.
I walked into a corner shop, all they sold was yoghurt.
I was trying to watch a video on how to clean a floor yesterday. It was a complete disaster, all I got was buffering.
I was on a cruise ship which had both sides labelled as starboard. Something was not right.