Is The Uk Reaching The Point Where It Can No Longer Properly Function (Part Two)

[New Judge]

Water meter has to be fitted to my supply. (I live in a “water stressed” area and under Section 94, paragraph 158 of some act or other my water company can insist that I have one). A few weeks back a task force took to my road and installed them in around 80% of the houses. They didn’t do mine. Letter arrives “We need you to make an appointment to fit your meter as we need to come in.” I duly made the appointment and established that a visit was necessary to “prove” my supply (whatever that might mean).

Water Bod turns up this afternoon. Conversation goes thus:

Water Bod (WB): Hello mate [I didn’t recognise him as any of my mates, but no matter]. I’m Nicky from the water company. I’ve come to fit your meter.”

NJ: “Come in”

WB: “Oh no. I don’t need to come in. I’m just going to turn your water off from outside.”

NJ: “But I was told you needed to come in. That’s why I’ve stayed in especially” [I hadn’t]

WB: No. When I’ve turned your water off I just want you to turn your kitchen tap on and check that I’ve turned the right stop cock off”

NJ: “But there’s only one outside my house”

WB: “Yes, but next door’s is quite close. Sometimes the supplies get crossed over” [mine is around six feet inside my building line. Next door’s is similarly placed. They are about twelve feet apart - the same as all the others in my road]

NJ: “I think either I or my neighbour might have noticed if they had.”

WB: “Yes but I have to check.

He duly turns the water off. I turn my kitchen tap on and inform him (much to my surprise) that no water is coming out of it.

WB: Right. I’ll crack on. Should be no more than ten minutes.

As he’s working outside I thought I’d make some enquiries of him.

NJ: “There was a team of about a dozen blokes down here a few weeks back. If there was this possible confusion with our supplies, couldn’t one of them have knocked on the door as you just have?”

WB. “Nah. They’ve not bin trained.

NJ: “Not trained to do what?”

WB: “They’re not customer trained, see”

NJ: “What, they need special training to ring a doorbell and ask for the kitchen tap to be turned on?”

WB: “Yeh. It’s all down to Elf n’ Safety, see mate!”

NJ retired for a much-needed lie down after which he will seek to establish whether he is going mad or the rest of the world is. After that he'll cease wondering why his water bill is so high.

[Old_Geezer]

Sounds about right.

[bookbinder]

I just hope that, if there's ever another war, I shan't be around to have to rely on such - er - resourceful persons.

[Ellipsis]

Standard.

[rowanwitch]

The world isn't going mad but it is dumbing down in a lot of areas. It's either adapt or get a headache from banging it against a brick wall

[anneasquith]

Fear not EVERYTHING will improve after brexit.

[Georgiesmum]

The good news is your water bill will now be a lot lower so its well worth having a water meter fitted.

[New Judge]

I'm not so sure about that. I use an awful lot of water in the summer (in the garden). More than that, I have every suspicion that once everybody is on a meter the price of water may increase significantly.

[david small]

They cannot fit a meter to my house as we are linked to next door somehow. They have decided that we use a certain amount of water, way above what we actually use. They are kindly going to increase our charge in three stages. Eventually we will be paying at the very least twice above what our neighbors pay. I would much prefer a meter, but, have Hobson’s choice.

[New Judge]

"Maybe they’re implimenting meters because your area is using more than the bill that’s being paid,..."

No they're not, spathi. They are doing it because I live "...in an area which has been determined by the Secretary of State to be an area of serious water stress and subject to a metering programme as part of a plan to maintain secure water supplies."


Water companies are allowed to do this because the Water Industry Act 1991 (as amended) includes provisions to allow water companies to install water meters and require that the water is paid for on that basis.

You can believe me when I tell you I've looked for loopholes. There aren't any.

[rowanwitch]

You might need to tweak your garden to cope worth less water maybe a few more water butts I used to have three linked by siphon hoses all filling from a downpipe. Thick mulches and using grey water as well. You might find you really can save quite a bit.

[Togo]

//They are doing it because I live "...in an area which has been determined by the Secretary of State to be an area of serious water stress and subject to a metering programme as part of a plan to maintain secure water supplies." //

Next step. "Energy Stressed" areas where smartarrrs meters are compulsory. For your own benefit you understand?

[New Judge]

Thanks for the advice, rowanwitch.

Of course water butts would not have done me much good this year! Without being brash, I'm not really strapped for cash and I'll just pay for what I use. But the water industry annoys me because it has made it its business to discourage use of its (one and only) product whilst trying to suggest it is a "normal" business. They've made no efforts to expand their storage, production or distribution facilities whilst allowing vast quantities of their product to leak away.

You could well be right Togo. But they'll have difficulty discriminating by area because, unlike water (which should have one), energy has a National grid. Most of the UK's energy problems stem from government and EU mismanagement of the business.