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Patron Saints.

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gness | 23:43 Tue 14th Feb 2023 | ChatterBank
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For fun Dave and I have been looking at what Saints are Patron Saints of.

He has just wandered into my little office and told me St. Valentine is the patron saint of farting.

It's actually the patron saint of fainting. I will book an eye test tomorrow before he offends all the Catholics in the village.
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I know St Clare is in charge of TV and computers because she had visions of things happening elsewhere. Specifically she was too sick in her cell to go to Mass so the service was miraculously projected on her wall, possibly with subtitles and slow-motion replays.
St John guards hair near a flame and St Michael, mostly pants with a vested interest.
Crepitus is the Roman god of flatulence, but I'm thinking that might be a spelling mistake .... !!
Dave seems to be mixing up Saint Valentine with Saint Bonaventure. who's genuinely the patron saint of bowel disorders ;-)
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Lord! I hope Father Liam doesn’t start projecting his mass onto my wall when I’m having a lie in.
Never mind pants and vests. St. Michael needs to sort his bras out!
Crepitus. Roman god. Depicted as a child farting??? Too much time on their hands I think.
Well Dave did have a slight tummy upset today, Chris. We should have said a prayer perhaps? ;-)
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So Crepitus doesn’t only mean internal gas, Sam. It could also mean popping noises from other parts of the body. Every day’s a school day! :-)
Gness, I see your own Fiacre is the patron of gardeners & of victims of haemorrhoids and venereal diseases. All the bulbs covered then...
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LiK! You mustn’t mention haemorrhoids. I’ve had two bad experiences with haemorrhoids and they weren’t even mine. :-(
St Isidore of Seville is the patron saint of the internet....
What’s the patron saint of lost causes?
Saint Jude?

Possibly
St Jude, I remember some strange rubbish and not even a catholic.
Is that no lost items Oz?
Sorry Rowan your response was not there when I typed my reply
Nope St Jude is the one that looks after difficult cases.
Those that need looking after ;-)
St Jude looks in on AB, bangs head on wall and puts in request for new assignment
St Jude should be worshipped on AB.
I imagine a few on News have little shrines to him, decorated with EU, red, an union flags according to inclination.
and there I was thnking it was St. Gulliver for lost causes.

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