My friends husband is making passes at my daughter

[creamcake]

Hi,
I don't know if I have posted this question on the right topic...apologies if wrong.

I am in a quandry as to how to manage a situation that has come to light today.

My 18 year old daughter has informed me that a couple who we have been best friends with for over 15 years and who we see most wekends and have weekend breaks with, the husband has been sending her suggestive texts, i.e. will pay her �200. if she poses for him, and can he buy her underwear and it will be there little secret etc..for almost a year now

Now I know she is 18 and quite street wise, but this is making her nervous, as when we see them apparently, he will whisper things in her ear or try to hug and touch her bottom...she tells him to grow up and p**** off

Well today she has got another text from him, saying he saw her in a mini skirt and how he felt (I won't go into detail) etc

The mans wife (my best friend) has recently been pouring her heart out to me as her husband is spending many many hours on the internet looking at all sorts of porn often through the night, they also live in the same street as us!
How do I deal with this? Speak to the wife or the husband direct....My husband will go mad, when he gets in from work, so I want to try to sort it out asap.

I know my instinct is to rush to their house and "have a go" but I honestly don't know how to deal with it.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[rachjordan]

Very difficult situation - I would first speak to your husband as he is your partner and you can make the decision together on how to handle it.

Good luck x

[Carakeel]

You really do need to deal with this situation immediately! When you husband comes home, tell him everything! He has the right to know what has been going on, as a father and also as your partner in life. Together, take your daughter's phone over to your friend's house and ask to see her for a moment. Then ask if she recognises her husband's phone number and let her read the text. Assure her that you are not putting her in a bad light in any way and that you do not want to lose her as a friend. But also make it clear, that her husband's behaviour excludes him from this friendship. By showing your friend her husband's phone number on your daughter's phone as well as the texts he has been sending your daughter , her husband cannot talk his way out of the situation. You might also want to show your friend any texts from your daughter that show she does not want his attention. You don't want him saying she was pestering him. Once your friend has been shown all the evidence, confront her husband and make sure he knows that if he ever contacts your daughter in any way, you will report him to the police. Whatever you do, do not become violent in any way, as otherwise if the police are called in, you will be seen as in the wrong. The stronger person is always the one who stays in control and remains as calm as possible. As your daughter is 18, you are limited in what you can do. However, if he has been making obscene remarks to her and has been pestering her, as it seems, she can report him to the police. They may well do him for stalking her. NO woman has to put up with this sort of thing!!! Time this man was taught a lesson!!! Don't wait until he has done more damage or decides to force the issue with your daughter. She may be street wise, but that does not mean she cannot be harmed emotionally and physically. So, please act quickly, before it is too late! My best wishes to you and your family.