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Truly a Body and Soul Moment

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zimzam | 19:00 Sat 16th Dec 2006 | Body & Soul
16 Answers
I have to share this as I am still giggling. I live 80 yards from an undertakers shop and 200 yards from a church. This morning I was walking the dog and passed the undertakers and one staff member was out preparing the hearse and contents and said "good morning" to me as I passed. The problem was that as he said the good morning greeting I could see his eyes scan me from top to toe at the same time. I thought "he's sizing me up for a coffin" and as turned the corner I met the Vicar who also said good morning but his Uriah Heap look sort of said "she is beyond redemption" and I think I truly had a Body and Soul moment this morning. It was hard to continue to my dog walking area and trying to keep a straight face, but I think my heaving shoulders and stifled laughter may have given me away, or classified me as a Devonshire goon. Any other ABer's ever met anyone in passing that caused them a laugh?
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Only the ones that fall over in the street. Cruel I know but I always burst out laughing.
I laugh at people passing me all the time. If they dont look funny, i look for something to laugh at them about...
The Vicar bit reminded me of something that happened many years ago whilst working on a grave stone in the local churchyard, (I was a Monumental Mason) I was swinging a large lump hammer at a chisel, working on a piece of granite, well I missed and took all the skin off my knuckle with the hammer, I shouted FCUK!!!!!! I was already on my knees when I noticed some very black shiny shoes in front of me, I looked up to see the Vicar looking at me disapprovingly, I said "sorry, you would have shouted if you hit your hand with a lump hammer" he replied "yes, but not quite as loudly"
why could you not be a normal sized mason RATTER rather than a monumental one ?
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Am now awaiting Crete's story, rather than his quips against others!
sorry zimzam, if i upset you it was a joke addressed to RATTER,
Don't hold your breath zimzam
why would zimzam want to hold his breath ?
I don't know......just in case she felt like it
what ?
Question Author
Ok Crete - your funny body and soul moment was?????
Crete, You're a man? why did i think you were a woman? no offence.
Don't hold your breath zimzam
im not a man zimzam thinks i am
The local vicar was walking past myself and my children when we were crossing the very wet canal bridge.

My 4 year old slipped and I shouted very loudly Oh God sh|t are you ok? The vicar gave me a very dirty look for taking the lords name in vain.

I hate passing the local undertakers I do find they give you strange looks like they are working out what width they would need to accomodate my bottom.( in a coffin)

crete, you must take these issues far more seriously or you will fall foul of the A.B police!!

Now behave!!!!

zimzam, I will apologise for cretes outrageous behaviour, she obviously wasn't warned of your sense of humour bypass!!

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