Funniest thing you've ever overheard or seen?

[*Princess*]

I was waiting for the train today and I saw a woman hold her thumb out for it, as if flagging a taxi. It made me giggle cos it was so random, and sure kept me going through the day!

Also I was in MaccyD's aaages ago and overheard this:

Guy 1: Nah i'd never cheat on her, I believe in monogamy
Guy 2: Monogamy? Ain't that what they have in Scotland at New Years?
Girl: Nah you idiot, it's a type of wood.

Made my laugh too!

So, what's the funniest thing you've ever seen or heard? I need to be cheered up

[Ice.Maiden]

Mwhahaha!!!!! Pmsl Princess!

Phone conversation with my hard of hearing grandmother:
"How are you getting to Essex - in the car?"
"Well really dear! I haven't had sex in a car for years!"

Collapse with mirth. x

[*Princess*]

Haha aw bless your Grandma!

Older-ish people are the best, they're so lovely! One I used to work with 'Dear, I have a pain in my tuppence' Ohhh I so didn't know how to react!

And one of my friends,

American woman: "What's an ironmonger?
Mate: "Someone who mongs iron"
American woman: "Really? You english people sure are smart!"

> <
o

[Ice.Maiden]

Excellent!!!! Awww....I agree that older people come out with some of the best ones - and I wasn't taking the p out of my grandma. She can't help being almost deaf, but some of her comments have us in stitches. x

[~max~]

The ironmonger one made me spit my coffee!!!! ROFL!!!

A good one I overheard in Edinburgh while staying in a youth hostel. American tourist at the reception desk chatting to the receptionist:
"Aw it's so handy that they built the castle so close to the train station!"

You gotta love 'em!

[*Princess*]

Haha!

One of my friends thought McDonalds came from Scotland, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!

Same friends was really excited just before Christmas....'I'm gonna get an air guitar for Christmas!' oh dear, you gotta love him!

[Ice.Maiden]

Splutter coffee across the keyboard! That's a good one max - and more from princess!! Oh dear. xx

[redcrx]

my next door neighbours used to fight often.

Once we heard this through the walls.

her: get out of my house
him: im eating my breakfast
her: get out now
him: its my f***ing house
her: its MY F***ing house, get out
him: im eating my breakfast
her: youve got 10 seconds
him: I cant eat that quick
her: 10, 8, 9 (she really was that thick)
him: im eating!!!!!!
her; 7,6,5
him: im having my food, Im not going out its raining
her; get out of MY HOUSE
him; shut up im eating
her; 4,3,2
him: dont be stupid, im not going anywhere
her: 1
him: ah F***, you stabbed me in the eye
her; you shouldve got out

by this point of was weeing myself laughing and didnt hear what happened.

[Myriad2112]

overheard on a bus:

Woman: Here mum, take my mobile phone and I'll call you to make sure you're alright

Old Woman: How will you know where I am?

[Panic Button]

I once thumbed a lift in Texas, and the guy who picked me up asked where I was from.

When I said England he asked if they speak English there.

[andy-hughes]

A firend was waiting for a bus - blizzard blowing, three feet of snow, not a person, or vehicle in sight. After ten minutes, a little old lady arrives and stands next to him - the full works - zip-up boots, ankle-length coat, shopping bag, gloves, headscarf. four feet tall, you get the picture.

After over half an hour of waiting, the first vehcile seen all that time - a bus (!) lumbers slowly into the bus station, rolls up to their stop, and past it without stopping, and out agaim and down the road.

As my friend tries to assimilate this turn of events, the little old lady turns to him, and in a voice loud enough to be heard 200 yards away, opines -

"Well, the f**kin' b*st**d!!!!

What a classic!

[THECORBYLOON]

Ordinary BT 'phone starts ringing, mum picks up the remote control, speaks into it and can't work out why the 'phone's ringing still....