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They are my relatives, not yours

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patricia | 12:00 Sat 08th May 2010 | Genealogy
7 Answers
Sometine during the early 1970s. my sister was invited to a wedding, on the morning of the wedding she said, they are my relatives not yours, ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies. I know that she went to the wedding along with my father. To cut the story short. Years later I have come across the wedding photo's and I have started to try and trace who is the photo. To date, My sister in the photo along with my late father. His sister who I think has also died, and his half sister, and Great aunt, who has now passed away.Other people in the photo I don't know who they are. My sister recently has said that she could not remember where the wedding was! who is the photo! but when I told her that I think I know that our late father's sister was in the photo, suddenly she could remember , and said yes our fathers sister was at the wedding. but she is still holding back. If anyone reads this message, please tell me what you are thinking, fresh ideas would help.

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seriously, if your sis doesn't want you to know then why push it?
If you really really NEED to know then ask her once straight out whether she will tell you or not but be prepared to upset/ annoy your sister to the point where she won't talk to you again. Do you want that?
Believe me I have been in similar circs and I know what i am talking about
12:35 Sat 08th May 2010
I'm not sure what you're asking/suggesting..
do you know who was married was it someone in your dad's family or just a family friend that all his family knew?

was your sister adopted or `taken in' from this other family and you'd always been lead to believe she was your sister?

where was your mum at the time of the wedding?
I hope I don't upset you patricia, but I think I can hear skeletons rattling in their cupboard. Haven't you any more old relatives who might help you identify any of the people in the picture? or perhaps you could research your fathers ancestry, you never know what will turn up, a few weeks ago I posted about a friend of mine who had suddenly discovered that she had a whole family of half brothers and sisters living in Dorset. Obviously your sister knows more then she's telling and the fact that she stressed before the wedding that if you didn't ask she wouldn't have to lie seems to indicate to me that even then she knew something "fishy" about the family history. You also have to think do you really want to know something which may upset you more then the knowledge that some thing is being kept from you
seriously, if your sis doesn't want you to know then why push it?
If you really really NEED to know then ask her once straight out whether she will tell you or not but be prepared to upset/ annoy your sister to the point where she won't talk to you again. Do you want that?
Believe me I have been in similar circs and I know what i am talking about
Be very careful where you go with this. I do family trees for people as a hobby, and I had to tell a canadian lady that her father had had another family over here during the war.
Trace your own tree - see what you find - we all have skeletons - most any more specific questions you may have on here - lots of people always happy to help.
We didn't find out until about fifteen years ago that my sister has a different father to the rest of us (she didn't know herself until she was nearly 30). Families protect secrets for so many reasons - this just might be one of them.

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