tweaker, the Listener is regarded as a "rara avis" among crosswords, rightly or wrongly, and giving help, even on a site which revolves around such requests, is frowned upon and invites opprobrium for the giver. This is due, in part, to the existence of an annual dinner for those who manage to go all-correct the previous year, invitations to which are, I imagine, highly coveted.The convention elsewhere is that the crossword is not even discussed until the solution is published.
I personally don't think it's a bad thing that one puzzle should remain sacrosanct. People should be able to accept that they have no divine right to succeed in every puzzle. It makes the pleasure of unaided completion that much greater. I don't even look at the Listener thread until my puzzle is in the post, as I wouldn't want to learn anything that might cause me to revisit my solution.
Be that as it may, you'll get all the help and chat you need for EV on here!