Devadolly,
Regret that as I don't get waited upon hand and foot normally, I shall be declining your kind invitation to the DC, where self-service seems to be de rigueur! "Completers Corner" is also adequately stocked, and also has silver service attendants (didn't want to be non-PC! huh). As for an invitation to be the Bar-b-que chef, no ta, the staff do that! I applaud the fact that like us in CC you have banned the Vuvuthings and any footy related flags.
As for a heavy hint on the theme of the odd columns, I used creased, AndrewG-S used stumped, knocked, re-cover, slips, mid-BEING-off, and Kayakamina found 11 ways of being DISMISSED. The theme in question wasn't one that was prevalent at our Alma Mater! Although there may have been the odd one or two, our lot preferred getting rather muddy. I was at an Expo in Birmingham recently, and our A/M were exhibiting, apparently the Purple Onion still lives on, but has been the target of arson attacks on numerous occasions!