Why my mom makes my life complicated? Please I NEED HELP.?

[SuunshineV]

I'm 18 years. I'm senior in high school. I have very good grades in school. I'm going to private classes for college to get in and I'm attending private classes for English, German and French.
My mom is telling me how I'm lazy and stupid and I'm gonna fail at life. She is also comparing me to my perfect cousins. My mom constantly tells me what im doing wrong and what she is doing right. She is keeping saying that I won't get in university.i don't have free time. I'm always studying for school, studying for my big exam to get into college or i have some private class.She puts me down and she yells at me sometimes.She puts me down in soo many ways. I have tried talking to her 67686582 times but she doesn't understand how much this is hurting me. So now when i feel lonely or sad, i just don't talk to anyone and i keep everything to myself, and its too much to handle..I’m the one that has been breaking down on the inside. My mom doesn't believe that I can succeed in life.That’s really bringing me down. And she wants me to move to dads house. I'm in the process of going into a university and my mom is always doubting me that I can't get in it.She treat me like a skrew up.I have too much going on and it’s too much for me to handle,i dont know how to stop this i dont know how to feel better and don't know were this is going. she doesn't listen, she doesn't understand me. Someone please tell me what to do.
is this ever gonna change? I just can't live with this type of life anymore.

[standian]

Hi SuunshineV you sound quite upset right now Problem is that its 3.30am here Everyone is asleep Please dont think you are being ignored You should try here later in sa9 hours There are some wonderful people on this site who will offer sound advice One more thing this is a very safe site Best Wishes to you Stan

[SuunshineV]

Thank you. Yes I'm feeling ignored. But I will try later.
Thank you Stan, best wishes to you too :)

[standian]

Youre welcome Good Luck Stan

[tiggerblue10]

There is nothing worse than one or both of your parents making you feel like you're a failure. It sounds like your mum is bullying you which is making you feel worse. Try telling her how she is making you feel and that her pressurising you isn't helping.

Do you have anyone you could to talk to like grandparents about this?

[SuunshineV]

Hi tiggerblue10 , Thank you.
I've tried to talk with he but she doesn't listen.
My grandparents died and my friends don't understand me. So I am on my own.

[momcj]

I know this may seem a bit cheesy, but sometimes when we try and talk to someone, it does not come across how we intend, because they other person will obviously respond. You could try writing down how you feel in a letter and leaving it for her. Then she will have to listen (read) without interuption x

[standian]

Hi SuunshineV I get the impression that your Mom may be under stress Could be for any number of reasons! You are most likely the easiest and possibly the only target for her to vent her frustrations/anger The advice offered above that is to sit in your study area and make notes Then carefully prepare a letter to your Mom laying out how you feel and making positive suggestions on how to resolve your current confrontational relationship strikes me as both sensible and a good way forward.

In writing your letter try to be diplomatic weighing your Moms problems in the balance

Try writing in your own hand I often find hand written letters to be more personal and better received. Such a response would hopefully give your mom pause for thought and help her see that you are an adult and not a little girl anymore. And maybe who knows, you could join forces and become a team - you and your mom against the world.

Be sure that your mom loves you very much, but maybe she is having problems in not being able to deal with the big things or see the positives in anything right now.

Good luck

Stan

[DTCwordfan]

write the letter and sleep on it - and then re-read and if ok leave it for her. You may wish to change a few things though and take out the some of 'emotion,' especially any inflammatory remarks, in the cold light of morning.....and your letter, hence, will be more powerful (and mature).

[tillyh345]

Very good advice from Standian and DT - Best of luck in this and the rest of your life, I am sure she is very proud of you x

[woofgang]

Are you in the US? Your vocabulary sounds American

[bushbaby_de]

It does sound American but that makes no difference to the advice in this case. I'm guessing it must be morning now for the OP so hopefully she'll check back in as she's had some very good advice dispensed above :)