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Please obey these rules on holiday

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mrs_overall | 12:18 Fri 27th May 2011 | ChatterBank
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I live in a seaside town and here are some simple rules for you to obey if you are a tourist

1. Do NOT feed the seagulls. It causes them to become incontinent and vacate their bowels on the cars belonging to locals
2. Do not walk four abreast along the pavement causing locals laden with shopping to step into the road
3. Do not meander all over the pavement & then stop suddenly to point at something, causing a local laden with shopping to crash into you
4. If it rains, do not wander en masse around the sole supermarket, getting in the way of harrassed locals doing their shopping. And stop moaning that "it's far cheaper at home"
5. Don't let your dog cr@p on the beach and then tell a local "the tide will wash it away"
6. Don't ask locals ridiculous questions, such as "where will I find Dracula's house?". He wasn't a real person!
7. Do not park your camper van overnight in a residential street and then make things worse by failing to draw the curtains
8. Do not drive the wrong way down a one way street and then tell the local driver you almost hit that you are a tourist. Don't you have no entry signs where you come from?

Mrs O - disgruntled local
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Grockles, huh!
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We call them Comforts....as in "Ah've come for t'day"
You not having a good day, Mrs. O ?
9. Do not, when in a large drunken group, ask harassed local resident if they know where the Tower is.........it's not half as funny as you and your mates think it is ?

10. Do not bellow at any likely-looking lass, " Don't you want to come and have a go on *my* Big One..?"
aww I would love to live near the sea
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I'm fine now I'm home Den - I should know better than to go shopping and for a walk on the beach on a bank holiday weekend
Mrs. O. you should have taken Harrison's surf board shopping with you and walloped them out of the way, shouting 'local coming through'.........
9- Be bloody grateful you live in a nice part of the UK that others can only visit to appreciate, and be nicer to those tourists, its thanks to them and their dosh that your picturesque town, that would have died a death a hundred years ago, is still thriving.

;-)
Arh Mrs O how I agree with you I so love Whitby & always treat it with respect.Ron.
Do you live in Whitby by any chance ?
Whitby Mrs O? lovely place!!

To those visiting the new forest
1 do not feed the ponies
2 see1
3 do not screech to a halt in the middle of the road and leap out to photograph the ponies
4 see 3
Take out the beach references adn I'm with you...
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lol Den - never thought of that one!

Boo - I could argue that there would be more affordable housing for locals if half the houses in town weren't second homes
Do not come to my town on a day trip and say 'It must be lovely living here!'. It isn't, it's 'broccoli'! I live here, be grateful you don't!
Con tourists by making them pay £12-00 in the Magpie cafe for fish & chips.....
forgot. Do not rent push bikes and wobble along at a slow walk veering all over the road and making it impossible to get past you.
Do not drive along at 5 miles an hour gawping at the ponies
Do not stop at T junctions to read the freakin map and look at/photograph the ponies
(anybody see a theme here?)
true- pity they'd also have to travel miles out of town to get a job as well though eh Mrs O? ;-)

I do understand your frustration, however, i can see the flip side too. If you're lucky enough to live in a very pretty part of the UK, then you have to accept that others want to visit it. And as ive said, most picturesque places, rely on tourists as well, so just grin and bear it.
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Sorry for sounding like a grump folks - all of the above things happened to me this morning...apart from the camper van which was last night
I would move from here in a heartbeat but circs won't let me.
Mrs O - I think you would make a great landlady for a B & B (:o)

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