Mad over Fifties CLub

[ladyalex]

The Club is now Open


Welcome again to all our members, old and older, mad and madder.

No doubt the usual delectable nibbles and drinks will appear shortly.

Tonight's raffle prizes so far include:

A packet of Spangles

4 bath cubes (lavender, of course)

A tin of Uncle Joe's Mintballs (don't tell him)

[Lie-in King]

out of house & home, they're lovely!

[nungate]

Oooh, I've been beaded my darlings, do I sparkle?

[Mamyalynne]

Oh dear , read that as beheaded, almost a swoon there. Blazing bucket please.

[nungate]

Haven't had enough of these blazing buicks to have lost my head yet

[Lie-in King]

Matron, Miss - your flagons...

The bucket that you requested be set alight is burning outside, Matron - health & safety...

[DTCwordfan]

I hadn't heard that we were having guest speakers tonight, Cagney and Lacey did you say, LIK?

[Mamyalynne]

outside I go then , shuffle, mutter, grumble.

[Lie-in King]

Please remain where you are sir, I shall fetch Matron and her home-made ear-unblocker.

Please have another flagon of tailcock in the meantime - I fear you may need it...

[nungate]

I have a stirrup pump in my reticule Mama shall I accompany you?

[Mamyalynne]

DTC , I have my extra large syringe at the ready, quite painless I assure you.

[DTCwordfan]

as long as there are six tailcocks..............

[Lie-in King]

Matron - will you require the special harness?

[Mamyalynne]

Well depends on patients size and demeanour really

[Lie-in King]

He has consumed several flagons, Matron - I believe you may presume numbness has been achieved.

[Mamyalynne]

Am going in then , all will be clear 'ere soon.

See what I did there?

[DaisyNonna]

A wandering besom? Perhaps her ladyship should consult Rigby and Peller?

[DTCwordfan]

that was my boil you lanced....

[Lie-in King]

Very droll, Matron. Ho ho.

Miss Daisy - your broomstick has been spotted roaming the upstairs landing in the company of a lavatory brush, so I've taken the liberty of brining you another large flagon.

[DTCwordfan]

If you have a boil
Don't stick it in the soil
Or rub it in the dirt
And save it for dessert!
When you go to Mamya Nurse
She'll get a needle
She will stick it in the boil
Suck out all the pus
And it will be gone, no fuss.
But give me a tailcock, first!

[nungate]

You'll need a dressing on that