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Here is something to offend everyone.

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wildwood | 22:35 Tue 17th Apr 2012 | Society & Culture
17 Answers
HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR 2030?

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions .

White minorities still trying to have English recognised as the UK's third language.

Children from two-parent, married, heterosexual families bullied in schools for being 'different'. Tolerance urged.

Manchester schoolgirl expelled for not wearing a Burqa: Sharia law must be enforced.

Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale meat as whales are now extinct and the scientific research fleet are unemployed. UK Government has told the Japanese that Grey Squirrels taste like whale meat.

Britain now has ten Universities of Political Correctness. Professor Goldman of LSPC says there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop people saying what they think.

Britain's deficit £10 trillion and rising. Government declares return to surplus in 100 years which is 300 years ahead of time. Prime Minister Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through more immigration is the secret to success.

Wall Street banks merge to form new super bank, Goldman Rothschild Ebeneezer Epstein Drescher (GREED): Huge bonuses paid to executives to celebrate launch.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Iran still quarantined. Physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic Countries. No other country volunteers to come forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Jose Manuel Rodrigez Bush says he will run for second term as US President in 2032.

Post Office raises price of stamps to £18 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

After a ten year £75.8 billion study, commissioned by the Labour Party: Scientists prove diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of a British male drops to 18 stone.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil and human rights. Victims to be held only partly responsible for crime.

Average height of professional basketball players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2035 as lethal weapons.

Inland Revenue sets lowest tax rate in decades at 75 per cent.

Bradford won this years FA cup final beating the Hindu Hornets 4-1.
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Very good, scary, but good.
Bradford did win but the score was 3-1 Bindi Gupta's turban unravelled at the
last minute and deflected the ball.
Made me smile, most of it
What a crock of .........
Bradford won't win.

The rest is inevitable : (
You couldn't make it up............Or could you?
It doesn't bother me in the least, I won't be here.

jem
Alternatively....
Last muslim blows himself up in protest against not being taken seriously.
Archbishop of Canterbury says (in court).that the bible does not specifically prohibit supplementing salary by being a rent boy.
Israel begins deporting all citizens who cannot prove they are the direct descendants of Abraham.
The loss of wine production due to the desertification of France is compensated by the Icelandic vineyards.
The Falklands Islands Grand Prix is boycotted by the Argentinians, the Falkland Island government refuse to give Argentina further aid..
Switzerland sinks 2 metres due to the weight of gold held in it's banks.
Britains PM the striker Muamba Adinga brings a new bill before parliament suspending the payment of tax by foreign workers until they have returned to their home country.
Etc.
I was enjoying that until you sneaked the one in about photographing a woman with her mouth shut.
Don't forget

"Last Briton with a shread of tolerance for people different to himself dies of loneliness"
lol, nice one Jake;-)
LOL

There will always be a Jake the peg and a NOX hanging around to smooth over troubled waters.................I think!
this is bang on the mark haha. good one.
After years of government by the 'women of a certain age party' the sale of pretty net curtains and white cardies brings the ecomomy back on target

Prime Minister Mavis Bradshaw Gupta opens the new centre for applied crochet saying it is important in the development of the uks long history within the textile industry

Jose Mourinho wins the Champions league for the 11th time with Scunthorpe United

Roman Abramovich found hanged in his apartment police are treating the death as suicide

UK Virgin PlC buys out the last major bank...

Cliff Richard narrowly misses the Christmas number one spot with his latest single Oh bu66er there isn't a god so why are we celebrating chistmas...
rowan....LOL.....you didn't tell me you were witty as well as seductive......
My wit is what made it easier to attract the poor souls
Last stone from the last church falls on the last priest. In a world wide celebration atheists unanimously agree to eat all babies before they reach puberty in hopes of liberating the world once and for all from an imperfect civilisation.
If you really want to know what'll be happening here in 20 years, look at America. Everything that happens there ends up here about 20 years later.

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