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Movie cliches that wouldn't work

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Mattk | 09:13 Fri 18th May 2012 | Film, Media & TV
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I just watched 'Man on a Ledge' and they used the tried and tested movie cliche of clipping a still photo onto a security camera to fool the guards. Surely this would never work as the camera is focused 10 foot or more away and not 2 inches?!

What other movie cliches that just wouldnt work can you think of?
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In Midsomer Murders, on finding a dead body the woman (it is usually a woman) always screams her head off. This cliche drives me mad because I don't think screaming is a genuine reaction. Occasionally perhaps, but I think the more genuine reaction would be stunned silence.
Many are car related.

Hero always finds parking spot exactly outside where he is going.
Hero breaks into car, hot wires it and drives off in ten seconds - steering lock is ignored.
Car rolls twenty times and hero emerges with barely a scratch.

Shoot outs in buildings where hundreds of shots are fired, bodies pile up, doors are blown off their hinges and in the street outside nobody hears a thing.

Or, for example in 'Taken' Liam Neeson shoots the bent cop's wife, forces information from him while the two children who just went to bed in a nearby room never come out to see what's happening.
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...he then arrives back in the U.S. no questions asked!

He's just killed or maimed a couple of dozen people not to mention reckless driving, destruction of property, impersonating a poilce officer.....!!!
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Others are shooting the petrol tank of a car so that it explodes (as proven on Mythbusters this would not happen) and cannonballs that explode when they hit their target in period films. They were just balls of metal that killed or maimed via splintering on ships or by shattering limbs on the battlefield.
I remember a TV programme some time ago that debunked a lot of these.

Things like in the Bond movie where R. Moore is escaping from a submerged car and breathes air from a tyre until the baddies go away.
What about all the cute little kids saying 'I love you mommy/daddy.'
And.........everyone seems to have a lovely 'kookie' friend.
Ridiculous technology. Some computer geek guy always hacks into the traffic light system (or whatever) and controls it, after about 20 seconds of furious tapping on the keyboard.

'OK - I'm in' he says, after being presented with a nice 3D Graphical interface labelled 'Traffic light control system'.
Playbill, Matt:

Tkane is a hilarious (and good fun) film. Next time you catch it try and count the number of people Liam interacts with who he doesn't: Punch, Shoot, run over, set on fire or otherwise maim.

Last time I caught half the film I counted maybe 5? Hundreds were killed otherwise! Imagine the reality of a man killing hundreds of people across whatever generic European city they're supposed to be in :) Headline stuff!
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I love typing in movies! Never any errors and typed furiously in but a few seconds and they always talk whilst doing it.
Die Hard Bruce cuts his feet to ribbons running across broken glass, yet jumps off a roof, using a hose, straight though a reinforced plate glass window, no scratches, no broken bones.
I just love the fact that all lead characters have their passport in their back pocket, with every visa known to man and can turn up at an airport and have no trouble getting a seat on a plane leaving in 30 minutes to the necessary destination.

And the fact that they don't have to cancel the milk, pack a bag, arrange for the kids to be picked up from school or rearrange tomorrows appointment at the vet.
Tom Cruise as butch action hero......
One old one: When somebody was shot anywhere on the body, they collapsed bleeding from the mouth. Why?

And one cliche which persists: The would- be suicide always stands on the ledge with the pigeon on it.
How does everyone stay so clean in action films?

Every film Jason Statham is in, he fights, crashes, runs, jumps, rolls, etc. and his perfect white shirt never even has a smudge when he is finished.

This applies to every other character in any action sequence, they don't sweat, they don't get out of breath, and their clothes are immaculate.

I would need a new wardrobe, a hot bath and a chiropracter to sort me out, plus a sit-down after a couple of minutes of any of this activity!
any horror film where the hero / potential victim seems happy creeping around a house in the pitch dark- or opening a door where the doorknob is rattling after finding a bloodbath.
Tom Cruise is due to play Jack Reacher in a film based on the books by Lee Child...........in the books Reacher is described as being 6'5".
Good point Nox, you are guaranteed to get knocked over the head if you do not switch the light on when you enter your home
Hollywood Science was one show that used to investigate the likelihood of some of these things being possible. I liked the bus from Speed that jumped up when it left a flat ramp and the boiled egg eating challenge in Cool Hand Luke.
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In racing movies/car chase movies they perform dozens of gear changes.
They are seemingly going as fast as they can when they drop down a gear and go faster!
CSI etc they go into dark houses, in street clothes and use just torches to see around..

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