Rte Guide Crossword Bumper Christmas...
Crosswords3 mins ago
For LadyJ as promised
12 Answers
When my first husband ran off with the girl from the pea canning factory I had to find work that fitted in with a six year old. Not easy with no qualifications and being slightly ditzy.
Then I saw the advert!
Wanted: Punch and Judy Man Assistant. Could do that I thought, applied and got the job if I could provide transport. Played the guilt card with ex and borrowed his little van. A Bedford I think.
Set off on Saturday to collect P&J man with his tent, puppets and a mini playground to entertain at a kid`s party in a village hall.
The little old man in baggy trousers, tweed jacket, flat cap, tartan, fur-lined slippers and a permanent ciggie dangling from the lips was a surprise but hey ho...takes all sorts.
Loaded the van with the see-saw resting on top of everything and set off. All went well until I went over the brow of a hill and saw the group of travelers looking at a broken down vehicle. Slammed on the brakes, the see-saw shot forwards, clouted the P&J man and jammed under the dash pinning his head between his knees. Oh well, soon sorted I thought until the smell of burning hit. The blasted ciggie had dropped into the tartan slipper and his foot was on fire!
Jumped out of the van and opened his door yelling at the travelers to help me.
Now, I`m Irish...we have a great sense of fun but the reaction of the Irish travelers to an old man pinned under the dashboard of a van by a multi coloured see-saw with his foot on fire has to be experienced to be believed.
P&J man was bouncing his leg up and down trying to put out the fire. With each bounce he thumped himself on the chin. "Lord," I thought "He`ll be toothless if we don`t get him out!" Travelers were peeing themselves with laughter and I was trying hard to think how to explain the demise of his van to the ex.
Sanity returned when a traveling woman grabbed the slipper, threw it over the hedge and hauled the old man out.
The next twenty minutes were spent sitting on a grass verge with a group of Irish Travelers and a maimed Punch and Judy Man drinking tea from one of the caravans while children looked for the slipper. God knows why he wanted it back I wasn`t going to argue.
Not quite the start to my new career I hoped for but I don`t give up easily.
Back in the van we set off for the party and if you think things couldn`t get any worse...........Well I`ll tell you about that tomorrow.
Gx
Then I saw the advert!
Wanted: Punch and Judy Man Assistant. Could do that I thought, applied and got the job if I could provide transport. Played the guilt card with ex and borrowed his little van. A Bedford I think.
Set off on Saturday to collect P&J man with his tent, puppets and a mini playground to entertain at a kid`s party in a village hall.
The little old man in baggy trousers, tweed jacket, flat cap, tartan, fur-lined slippers and a permanent ciggie dangling from the lips was a surprise but hey ho...takes all sorts.
Loaded the van with the see-saw resting on top of everything and set off. All went well until I went over the brow of a hill and saw the group of travelers looking at a broken down vehicle. Slammed on the brakes, the see-saw shot forwards, clouted the P&J man and jammed under the dash pinning his head between his knees. Oh well, soon sorted I thought until the smell of burning hit. The blasted ciggie had dropped into the tartan slipper and his foot was on fire!
Jumped out of the van and opened his door yelling at the travelers to help me.
Now, I`m Irish...we have a great sense of fun but the reaction of the Irish travelers to an old man pinned under the dashboard of a van by a multi coloured see-saw with his foot on fire has to be experienced to be believed.
P&J man was bouncing his leg up and down trying to put out the fire. With each bounce he thumped himself on the chin. "Lord," I thought "He`ll be toothless if we don`t get him out!" Travelers were peeing themselves with laughter and I was trying hard to think how to explain the demise of his van to the ex.
Sanity returned when a traveling woman grabbed the slipper, threw it over the hedge and hauled the old man out.
The next twenty minutes were spent sitting on a grass verge with a group of Irish Travelers and a maimed Punch and Judy Man drinking tea from one of the caravans while children looked for the slipper. God knows why he wanted it back I wasn`t going to argue.
Not quite the start to my new career I hoped for but I don`t give up easily.
Back in the van we set off for the party and if you think things couldn`t get any worse...........Well I`ll tell you about that tomorrow.
Gx
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