Are People Really That Stupid …
Society & Culture0 min ago
Starbuckone's Story
59 Answers
When Miss Buck and Mr One met, they were both itinerant costa-mongers who travelled the length and breadth of the country selling coffee. After a brief courtship they married, and nine months later their only child Star was born.
Star would spend many hours gazing at the night sky wondering which of the many celestial bodies she had been named after. It came as a shock when one day her mother informed her that she was named Star after her father's favourite daily newspaper.
Star was the black sheep of the family. Not only did she prefer drinking tea but she hated the itinerant lifestyle and dreamed of settling down in a country village. She had ambitions to work in the legal profession and studied hard at school. When she left school her parents grudgingly agreed to send her to college. After three baffling months she emerged from college knowing nothing about law, clutching with a coffee coloured certificate telling her she was a qualified Barista.
Deeply disappointed, she left home and settled in the sleepy village of Answerbank under the Wold. Being naive, she quickly fell into the clutches of a wicked agent who was recruiting for a lap dancing club and found herself dancing nightly. The villagers all wrongly assumed that she was a qualified barrister and frequently told her their deepest secrets and asked for her advice. She was aware of the location of the proceeds of several armed robberies, knew who in the village had committed benefit frauds (most of the residents) and who the village bigamist was.
One day the owner of the lap dancing club turned up and realising Star was over 25 and therefore past it, he sacked her on the spot. The owner of the village tearoom took pity on Star and gave her a job.
One day during a lull in the cafe, Star was idly polishing the espresso machine when she had an epiphany on how to make her fortune. Blackmail was the answer. That night she carefully cut words from a newspaper and glued them onto plain paper. Her demand was simple - a one off payment of £5,000 for her NOT to reveal certain facts to the authorities. In the dead of night she slipped out into the dark and hand delivered her letters all around the village.
Star would spend many hours gazing at the night sky wondering which of the many celestial bodies she had been named after. It came as a shock when one day her mother informed her that she was named Star after her father's favourite daily newspaper.
Star was the black sheep of the family. Not only did she prefer drinking tea but she hated the itinerant lifestyle and dreamed of settling down in a country village. She had ambitions to work in the legal profession and studied hard at school. When she left school her parents grudgingly agreed to send her to college. After three baffling months she emerged from college knowing nothing about law, clutching with a coffee coloured certificate telling her she was a qualified Barista.
Deeply disappointed, she left home and settled in the sleepy village of Answerbank under the Wold. Being naive, she quickly fell into the clutches of a wicked agent who was recruiting for a lap dancing club and found herself dancing nightly. The villagers all wrongly assumed that she was a qualified barrister and frequently told her their deepest secrets and asked for her advice. She was aware of the location of the proceeds of several armed robberies, knew who in the village had committed benefit frauds (most of the residents) and who the village bigamist was.
One day the owner of the lap dancing club turned up and realising Star was over 25 and therefore past it, he sacked her on the spot. The owner of the village tearoom took pity on Star and gave her a job.
One day during a lull in the cafe, Star was idly polishing the espresso machine when she had an epiphany on how to make her fortune. Blackmail was the answer. That night she carefully cut words from a newspaper and glued them onto plain paper. Her demand was simple - a one off payment of £5,000 for her NOT to reveal certain facts to the authorities. In the dead of night she slipped out into the dark and hand delivered her letters all around the village.
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Fantastic Mrs. O. And very true to life. Sometimes I wonder where you get all your information. (chuckles evilly) Perhaps we could work up a little partnership in the blackmail business. With what you know, and what I know we could make a fortune. Wish I had thought of it when I was a bit younger. Could be basking in the sunshine on some foreign beach now instead of looking out at the grey and wet.
Never thought of that. No wonder the vindalo had a familiar scent to it.
Anyway, I look forward to more revelations over the next 12 weeks while I have to rest and let this flippin' foot heal. Just into the first week and already I am going crazy. I was dismayed with all the shennanigans yesterday on AB and thought that I would have to look elsewhere for e-contacts. Your story has cheered me up no end so you may take a bow and blush modestly. dtc :-)
Anyway, I look forward to more revelations over the next 12 weeks while I have to rest and let this flippin' foot heal. Just into the first week and already I am going crazy. I was dismayed with all the shennanigans yesterday on AB and thought that I would have to look elsewhere for e-contacts. Your story has cheered me up no end so you may take a bow and blush modestly. dtc :-)
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