suggest you keep your dirk behind your sporran, tony, as we are in the presence of Ladies.....young ones at that! And the fact that you are in Victoria Woods baggie shorts, elastic waistband or not, under a kilt tells a lot, though it must be said the Black Watch wear keks under their tartan when there is a Queen of Mean on the Throne, so she isn't embarrassed if the wind catches their tartan and exposes them.
How the Black Watch got to watch QoM on the throne is another matter all together.