Mad Over Fifties Club

[nungate]

Hello, and welcome to Nungate Towers for another gathering of the Answerbank's Mad Over Fifties Club. As we all gather in the vestibule before scooting off in pursuit of our favourite pasttimes shall I tell you of all the treats we have in store for tonight?
Tonight the Tailcock will be the "Woffy" a tailcock of distinction and created as a celebration of British Speedway Rider's Tai Woffenden's victory in tonight's Speedway Grand Prix in Poland. Ladies and Gentlemen of MOFC. Britain has a new World Champion! He needed only 6 points to become World Champion which he achieved in the earliest races of this evening (I might also add that he achieved this suffering with a broken collar bone!) A quick round of applause for opur latest world champion!!
Our hot plate special this evening will be a delicious roast chicken with all the usual trimmings! I might also add that our chicken tonight was raised on the Nungate estate - the chickens here are vicious but delicious! On the pudding trolley there is a lovely apple and blackberry crumble (there seems to be a glut of Blackberry's these days since the advent of the Iphone - nice to be able to use them up!) and lashings of custard!
Of course as always we have a wonderful selection of volly vonts, canopies and a welcome return to our menu, horses doovers! mmm yum!
The minstrels are again up in the gallery warming up to give us their toccattas, fugues and madrigals! As the evening progresses they will give us their own interpretation of the greatest hits of Kiss! (?) Moving along, performing in the indoor swimming pool we have the Muckleflugga and Penge
Formation Drowning ..... sorry Swimming team! Up on the north tower the hot tub is bubbling away, the bungee is full of bounce (I reiterate to take care where you "aim" the bungee - moat is full of piranhas) There's a roaring fire in the snug for those in need of a quiet moment, there is also a good fire in the Library, and, the latest edition of Crochet and Arc Welding weekly has just arrived! Tickets for tonight's rofl are available from Belle in the vestibule. Igor has sent a message from his sick bed. He thanks you all for your good wishes, poor lamb is still in traction but hopes everyone will have a good time and he will be back in his chains as soon as he possibly can.
Be assured a warm welcome awaits all who dare enter these portals!

carriages at midnight

[mrs_overall]

Nungate, could I make a request please?
My love of bungee jumping is severely hindered by my morbid fear of heights.
I have noticed several long corridors in your gaff - could we do some vertical bungee running?

[nungate]

Igor will return as soon as he is well - poor lamb is in traction!

[DaisyNonna]

Do you want me to magic up some bees Tony? Or get your phone to make a noise?

[nungate]

I suppose that's possible, there's the long gallery on the far side of the Towers which isn't really used that much maybe we could set that up for bungee running
or we could reintroduce the sack races .....

Has anyone been down to the pool to see the formation drow.. oo-ps swimming?

[DaisyNonna]

Mrs. O, that sounds like fun. Bungee three legged races?

[tonyav]

No bee's thanks, Daisy, don't mind the phone thing though.

[nungate]

I like the Skater's Waltz too Daisy, maybe one week we can organise a waltz orchestra .... I wonder if Andre Rieu does private gigs ...

[tonyav]

Tried that once, mrs overlong, the hole in the wall is still there !.

[mrs_overall]

We'll need to make the floor slippery.
Goats hoof oil is the best thing looks meaningfully at tony

[nungate]

I couldnt possibly bungee a three legged race, I only have two

[DaisyNonna]

Not over keen on formation dr.. but would love a swim. Cossies available?

[DaisyNonna]

If Andre is not available we could always get Matilda.

[tonyav]

Goats hoof oil is the best thing looks meaningfully at tony


Oi, overall, forget that, I have some Castrol GTX, much better for corridor skating !.

[nungate]

There are always cossies available Daisy, there's a nice selection down in the changing room, you'll find them in the armoire

[DTCwordfan]

Whatever possessed Mrs O
to take the big leap,
With rubbers attached
to her ankles and feet.
Can't get gness to try it
won't catch her up there,
But OH NO!!!! Here She GOES!!!!!!
upside down in the air!!!!

NOT READY TO DIE!!!!!!
Her brain screamed and then said,
I know I will land
on my face and my head!
Both feet made a jerk
and bounced her to heck,
She couldn't believe
that she still had her neck.

Will they try it again?
no, likely as not,
'Cause they soiled the only
panties they'd brought.
The fall took Mrs O's bladder,
her bowels and her breath,
She'll just leave it to those MoFCers
who don't fear death.
Nungate's Igor's ready to mimic Macbeth.

[nungate]

I'll make some calls Daisy .....


Sshh! all this goat hoof oil is upsetting the kids, poor Queenie is out there in the barn trying to calm them down

[DaisyNonna]

A knight in the changing room? What fun! Anyone else coming?

[tonyav]

Sshh! all this goat hoof oil is upsetting the kids, poor Queenie is out there in the barn trying to calm them down

I knew it would have that sort of affect on them.


Yeah, fancy a swim then, Daisy.

[DaisyNonna]

Race you to the deep end!

[DTCwordfan]

Whatever the chord, I shall gracefully withdraw, say goodnight, climb the wooden hill and find some appropriate wear or otherwise to being a sleepy Bard - and not that much rat-arsed, either.