Three For The Price Of One
Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed him. "She spent every night at the front door, waiting for you to come home," she said.
"What an example of devotion," Dave replied. "I wonder if you'd be that concerned about me?"
"Honey," she answered, "if you were gone overnight, and I didn't know where you were, you can be sure I'd be waiting for you at the front door."
Mrs. Rosen is having her house painted, and her husband comes home from work and leans against the freshly painted wall.
The next day, she says to the painter, "You want to see where my husband put his hand last night?"
He sighs and says, "Look, lady, I got a tough day's work ahead of me. Why don't you just make us a cup of tea?"
"You just go ahead," said the man to his wife when they got to the shopping mall. "While you're shopping, I'll just browse in the hardware store."
An hour later, she returned and saw him at the checkout counter. The clerk was ringing up the last of a pile of tools and supplies that would fill two wheelbarrows.
"Are you buying all this?" his wife asked incredulously.
"Well, yes," he said, embarrassed. Then waving his arm toward the interior of the store, he added, "But look at all the stuff I'm leaving behind."