Doorstep Stuttering

[marval]

A priest concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom; he discovered several boxes of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.

So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for £10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.

Jack, Paul and Nick all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.

The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles. But he had serious doubts about Nick who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment.

Poor Nick stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage Nick, the minister decided to let him try anyway.

He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.

Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?"

Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the £200 I collected on behalf of the church."

"Fine job, Jack!” the minister said, vigorously shaking his hand.
"You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."

Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the Church last week?"

Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here's £280 I collected."

The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you."

Apprehensively, the minister turned to Nick and said, "And Nick, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?"

Nick silently offered the minister a large envelope. The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is this? Nick, there's £3,200 in here. Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?"

Nick just nodded. That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we could."

"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister! agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Nick."

Nick shrugged. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.

Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Nick, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!"

"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was,"Nick replied.

"W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten p-p-p-pounds ------o-o-o-or-------- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you?"

[gingejbee]

For some reason, I've never found stammering in any way funny.

[cupid04]

Lol!

[Butterbun]

Stammering's not funny but the joke was.

[Sipowicz]

Oh dear!

[gingejbee]

Butterbun...how do you divorce the "joke" from the stammering...upon which this "joke" depended?

[paulllambert]

I once lived with a bloke who stammered. I asked him, one Saturday, how Chelsea had got on in their match against Blackburn.
"They w..w..w..w" he stuttered.
"At least they won" I thought, "I'll get the score later".
"They w..w..w..w", he went on. "They w..w..were losing 2-0 at half time".

[marval]

I apologise to anyone who was upset by this joke.

[tonyav]

Almost every joke will upset someone or other, marval.

[marval]

Very true tony, but I try not to upset people.

[tonyav]

I know you don't, marval.