This is part of a dessert menu at a pub near here in Buckinghamshire.
You would think they would have spellchecked or at least read it through first.
English Cheeseboard – £8.30
A selection of 4 English cheeses
Hawes traditionalWensleydale,Colston Bassett Blue Stilton,Greens Glastonbury Cheddar and Llawnroc Brie Served with a selection of biscuits, a seasonal chutney,celery,apple and grapes
Hawes traditional Wensleydale
Produced In 1he heart of the Yorkshire Dales using pasteurlsed cows milk from 1he herds of local termers 1hat have grazed on the limestone pastures which produce a natural diet of grasses. herbs and wild flowers. Hewes Wensleydale has a lower acldlly !hen most Wensleydcles which gives 1he cheese a more dep1h end subflety of flavour.It Is usually eaten young when It has a flne white colour texture which Is flaky yet moist end having a w11d honey w1th underlying slightly tart freshness.
Greens Glastonbury Cheddar
Produced by 1he Green’s family using COW’s milk from1helr1hree dairy herds on their awn farm. The cheese has a slrong powerful flovour as a result of CNer 12 monlhs malurlng which achieves the nutty full rounded flavour w1th a hint of sharpness and a creornv yellow texlure.
Colston Bassett Blue Stilton
This cheese Is produced from caw’s milk wl1h penicillium roqueforti mould being added at 1he initial stage of the process. After 5 days the cheese makers smooth the outside of 1he cheese rounds and leave to age for 6 weeks before piercing allowing air to enter 1he Interior. The cheese Is !hen allowed to ripen for a further
4 weeks before being offered for sole. The result Is an Ivory colored texture with greenish blue veins and a full rich creamy strong taste with overtones of honey molasses.
Llawnroc Brie
Many people are genuinely surprised when they learn that Brie is produced in the UK believing that this cheese is only produced in France. Llawnroc Brie is produced In Cornwall from pasteurised cows milk creating a white mould complex flavored cheese in contrast to the original Brilish brie which hod a creamy mild flavour.
I've seen plenty of sandwitches and given the looks of some of the cooks, that is an apt description of several of them.
From my 'Mickey Mouse' book that I kept at the back of my briefcase to record things like this, especially food:
1. How about 'Fried Bum' - seen in Shanghai
2. Viagra Prawn Warps.
3. Chicken Wings, ruthlessly clipped.
4. God delicious bean sauce
5. Diet Cock
6. And a bowel of egg-fried rice.
It never ceases to amaze me when people. firms pay for expensive signage on their premises or vehicles but don't check them. I recall in Stockport a brand new Mercedes van carrying a line in Bridal Dress'ess and a lovely country hotel near York offering Accomodation.
Similarly, children's names! In one class my OH had Gary Baldie, Sean Lamb and Christopher Lee. I once had a James Bond, the image of the Milky Bar kid.
Just remembered another one. I went to a restaurant in France that offered
'Cock of the Nice Farmer Roasted in the Oven'. I didn't fancy that in my mouth.