Being Blocked Online And How It Makes You Feel?

[deejaybenj]

Just wanted to ask what people's experiences were with being 'blocked' online and how this makes them feel. I use a few different social media platforms, one of which is a website where you can chat/make friends/date etc. (Not Facebook).

The site allows you to put up some information about you and also photos. I have a few basic face photos and some basic text about me, fairly light hearted. The people I have spoken to are online acquiantances, not real life friends and could live anywhere in the country.

Every once in a while I might strike up conversation with someone on this site (or vice versa, if they message first), where you exchange a few messages. Then the messages on their part cease and next time I log on, I find myself blocked.

Obviously the block button is a feature on so many websites these days, getting blocked seems to happen a fair amount to me. What upsets me is that I try to be nice, there has apparently been good rapport, then suddenly I am worthy of a block. Each time this happens, it is creating feelings of anxiety and giving me a bit of a complex.

I know this is online and people can behave oddly online, but I just wanted to get some reassurance that this also happens to others ask for any thoughts on how it makes people feel and how you deal with it?

Many thanks!

[chanel5]

This is rather a strange question. Is it genuine? I am not sure what to make of it.

[ummmm]

Try not to think about it. Be concerned if real life friends stopped talking to you.

[Mamyalynne]

chanel5 - I might say your reply is rather strange too - why would it not be genuine?

[Ric.ror]

Someone I know unfriended me on FB - I was quite pleased actually
I must have really peeved them as its not that easy to unfriend anyone (I think)

[Svejk]

Have you been sending naked pictures of yourself after a couple of contacts? That'll do it. Some people consider it a bit 'needy'.

[Mamyalynne]

deejay - yes I have been blocked or dropped from friendships on websites, of course what we don't know is why and how many times other people have experienced the same.

It is easy then think it is 'you' when it may just be they are fickle and want to move on.


Just enjoy the good parts of the site and let the rest of the stuff wash over you.

[ummmm]

Ric...it's very easy to un-friend or block on FB.

[deejaybenj]

Yes this was a genuine question, I wanted to see how others felt when it happened to them and whether it created feelings of anxiety for others.

[Mamyalynne]

In the first instance I felt a prickle of annoyance but soon learned not to dwell on it - of course very different if it is someone you have become close to.


But as I said above, everyone goes through it to some extent.

[Retrochic]

Are you sure it is the people blocking you and not a security feature clicking in?

[Canary42]

Doesn't bother me at all, it's only Cyberspace after all. You can't please all the people all the time.

[deejaybenj]

Yes, these are people actually going through the motions of clicking a block button. It just strikes me as rather off kind of behaviour, maybe I expect too much of people.

I mean, in real life, if you were mid conversation with someone say in a pub or shop or workplace and you asked 'how have things been with you then', would you expect that person to blank you and just walk off. Maybe it's not the same..

[Retrochic]

deejay how many people have blocked you?

[Hypognosis]

It would bother me that I'd learned nothing about what had made me so worthy of blocking. Basically, it means that I'll carry on with whatever behaviours annoyed/upset them and I'll go on to make the same mistakes with other people. I could handle getting dumped but not being told why really p'd me off.

[Retrochic]

I've only twice blocked a FB friend and that was after meeting one in the flesh and finding her exceptionally obnoxious and someone I would normally avoid like the plague in real life, and the second a friend I knew out of FB that tried to cause problems between OH and myself. If you don't know them in the first place does it matter? Some people have a 'clean out' once in a while and its usually nothing personal.

[ummmm]

My block list is quite long...

[AlwaysConfused]

I've blocked a few opinionated, obnoxious people from facebook in the past. I've also deleted several people that I haven't made contact with for years. But I've been deleted or blocked in the past from colleagues at work. Half the time, it's not them that I've upset, but another colleague. After the initial surprise, I find it quite amusing. Especially when the 'blockee' tries to contact me on facebook later on for time off etc and has to send it through private message where it shows that we are not 'friends'.

I don't usually take it to heart, even from people I know quite well. They have their reasons, I respect that. I honestly wouldn't worry about what people that I don't know think of me. Striking up a conversation with one person online, you need to have a common bond as there are no physical attractions or body language to respond to. If you are on the telephone and want an escape, you can say 'i'll call you later, there's someone at the door/dog needs a wee/food burning in the oven' etc. Online, there is no need for such niceties, some people just stop the conversation dead, as there is less emotion in typing than talking.

[Retrochic]

Ummmmm you surprise me -only the other day you were saying how safe FB was, and people who thought otherwise were 'paranoid' or words to that effect. Now you are saying your 'block' list is really long...LOL!

[ummmm]

Yeah...because there are some people, friends of friends, that I don't like and I'd rather they didn't see what I say when talking to someone on their friends list or what I might post on someone's wall.

[deejaybenj]

some good responses here, thanks! I am probably referring to a handful of people on and off over the last few years. It is nice to know it happens to others too and in the workplace too - that must be quite awkward!

Particularly liked the reponse where it referenced not ever knowing what you've done wrong, so you carry on with the same behaviours. If someone replied and said 'well actually the reason I am choosing to block is because you're quite annoying/unattractive/nothing in common/location then you could learn from this.