Bloke Stuff.....
1. A woman in labour is screaming profanity at her husband from her hospital bed. He says, "Hey, don't blame me! I wanted to stick it in your ass but NO, you said that might hurt!"
2. I spent £5,000 on a boob job for the wife. She was delighted. I spent another £2,000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic. I spent £2,000 on liposuction for her and she couldn't thank me enough! But I spend £50 on a *** for myself and she goes *** nuts!!! Women, I can't figure them out!.
3. A mother in law said to her son's wife when their baby was born: "I don't mean to be rude but he doesn't look anything like my son." The daughter-in-law lifted her skirt and said: "I don't mean to be rude either, but this is a pussy, not a *** photo-copier."
4. Little kid catches his mum and dad having sex. He says, "What are you doing?" His father says, "We are making you a little brother." The boy answers, "Why don't you do it doggy style, and make me a puppy!"
5. "I'm fed up with the excuses women come up with to avoid having sex, like; "I'm tired, I'm washing my hair, I've got a headache, I'm your sister in law."
Dear Dr. Phil,
I was watching my next door neighbour's wife sunbathing topless from my bedroom window. As I was jerking off I turned to notice my wife was just standing there, arms folded, watching me. Is she a pervert or what?