Power Of Attorney Or Equivalent

[taichiperson]

I've posted about my mother before - she is 82 and lives on her own but it's getting a little more precarious as time goes on. I'm her only child and live 15 minutes drive away - hubby and my elder son help look after her - all that entails at the moment is getting her out of the house for outings, shopping and meals etc, helping with housework and seeing to financial matters.

My father died nine years ago, leaving her comfortably well off. He always looked after financial matters and Mum does not really deal with money - I've helped her since he died. It's fairly simple as everything is paid for by direct debit, and I send details to her accountant every year to see to her tax. She's in reasonable health - no prescription medicines though she has breathing problems and can't walk too far before she gets short of breath.

I've just been reading up on power of attorney, and think that technically she is mentally capable of making her own decisions. However, I'd like to be able to deal with her bills and bank more directly. Although she can make her own decisions if I explain things to her, it's pretty stressful on both of us (I also need to keep my stress levels down due to a heart condition). Is there any way I can help her more without consulting her on minor decisions? Is there something that stops just short of power of attorney?

[Tilly2]

If you have power of attorney, you won't have to consult her at all. However, she must agree to allow you to have power of attorney.

[EDDIE51]

You either have POA or not there is no half measure.
But it may be possible for her to come to an arrangement with the bank where you can handle basic transactions.

[Flonska]

For some routine financial transactions you can act as an "agent" but that might not cover all eventualities. I think you would be better to determine exactly what both your mother and you would like to achieve.

The following information may help, but you may be best to talk to a solicitor to make sure that your mothers affairs are sorted out properly.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/looking-after-people/managing-affairs-for-someone-else/

[Flonska]

Sorry . . . just noticed . . . you say that you use an accountant? presumably s/he charges for the service provided? Why not go and talk to him/her?

[taichiperson]

Thanks Flonska - I'm more interested in the legal side of seeing to Mum's affairs, I'm not sure the accountant would be able to help, but I'll bear that in mind. Basically she just gets a bit confused if things get complicated. For example, I have told her many times she's not to answer any PPI calls, but she does not understand what PPI is no matter how many times I explain it to her. She also regularly gets conned by firms supposedly selling call blockers, even though she does not actually 'want' a call blocker as she thinks she does not get nuisance calls. Luckily her bank picks up on that kind of thing and are very good at blocking unfamiliar payments and reissuing her debit card. I'm not sure what to do short of taking her card away.

[237SJ]

I remember helping my Mum to get through the mire of contacting Santander on the telephone. When they could hear me prompting my Mum and reminding her of her passwords, they threatened to put a block on her account. You are probably better off just getting POA. It's cheap and easy to do on the Gov website.

[Flonska]

Assuming you and your mother have a long standing relationship with the accountant, s/he ought to be able to put you in touch with a solicitor who should be able to meet and explain what may be done to meet your mother's and your needs. At the same time, the solicitor can advise you on other matters e.g. Will?

[Tilly2]

I had POA for my Dad. I had his debit card. He gave it to me, along with his pin number. If he wanted anything he would ask me and I would get it for him and or deal with it. I also had his bank statements sent to me and would take them to him so that he could see all the transactions. He trusted me to deal with his affairs and I did so.

[Rosetta]

Mr Rosetta has Power of Attorney for his mother and it has been a real godsend. The time to get is when your mum is mentally capable of agreeing, it could be more complicated to help her if her mental health deteriorates and you dont have it. My MIL had a solicitor to draw up the POA, and it was a straightforward process to register it with banks etc

[taichiperson]

Thanks all. I only ever drop papers off to the accountant, I don't think I've actually met the latest one that took over from our original accountant. I have an acquaintance who is a probate solicitor that I might contact - or maybe I'll go to Age UK and see what advice they can give.
Tilly - I'm almost at that point, but Mum has her debit card and is reluctant to give it up. She still likes to go and eat out or shop with me or hubby or our boy. I do know her PIN number in case of emergencies, but I'm not sure how ethical/legal that is.

[woofgang]

Could you get her the kind of card that you load with cash so she is limited on what she can lose? Personally I would go for POA because (and I mean this politely) it sounds like she is headed that way and its much harder to do once capacity begins to diminish. So far as the phonecalls, I believe that you can get phones that will only ring if the number isn’t withheld and is also on the “safe” list.

[taichiperson]

Thanks Woofgang, had not heard of a 'preloaded' card, not sure if that is practical but it's worth looking into. Yes, I've been putting off POA but know I should do it sooner rather than later, no offense taken. I'm also looking into BT Call Guardian.