Are Best Friends In The Sense Of Being Able To Share Your Deepest Feelings Mostly A Female Thing

[rowanwitch]

Only it seemed from sqad's post that men and women may have a very different definition of what a friend is. So the whole best friend thing .... men have best friends defined by amount of time together (quantity) and female have friendships where the depth of the relationship is key. (Quality) or is this too simplistic. It probably is but looking back on those I have known it seems a recurring pattern.

[Sqad]

I only speak for myself obviously, but there are varying degrees of best friend. The very best friend is someone that you meet regularly, perhaps once a week and then if this discontinues for any reason then they become acquaintances.Best friends need to be geographically accessible and not in another town or country as they would then become "acquaintances."
A male can have a best friend or acquaintance, lose contact for years, then return, make contact and continue as if nothing has happened.
Women find this difficult.

[Sqad]

LOl...I have just read your OP again.
I think that men can discuss their innermost feelings, especially sexual to the same depth as women if not deeper.

[rowanwitch]

We don't , being able to pick up as if we were never apart is a sign of a true friendship in my view. I think we are in mars/ venus territory here as it seems one of those odd times when we don't have a common use of the same language, but that in itself is interesting.

[rowanwitch]

Would a man be able to discuss performance issues for example....with a male friend. Or would it get very awkward and be resolved by a change of subject and an offer of another drink o l d boy?

[Sqad]

Rowan ...not sure that i understand.....who's performance?
Come straight out with it eh!

[naomi24]

Rowan, //Would a man be able to discuss performance issues for example...//

If I understand your reference to 'performance' correctly, I wouldn't discuss 'performance' issues with anyone - male or female.

[melv16]

What rowan is saying, if you were playing snooker with a rope, would you discuss it with a male friend?;-)

[Sqad]

melv...LOL....got it.
Depends......it would have to be a very , very good friend and even then, probably not.
If i got to that stage ..erectile dysfunction, i would initially take corrective measures and if that wasn't satisfactory, then i would concentrate on my foreplay.

[rowanwitch]

I am sure a number of your female acquaintances would be happy to discuss such things... but most of the women I know talk about the mucky stuff, sometimes their own problems, and some will discuss their partners shortcomings not in an unkind way. But in the hope that someone has experience and might be able to suggest something. It could of course be that other women just tell me stuff

[Sqad]

rowan...OK....there is not much that I can add to your post, except that my shortcomings will be known worldwide...;-)

[Zacs-Master]

They still laugh about you at the LGI surgeon's ball Sqad.

Proff' Kaye is retiring by the way.

[jim360]

"shortcomings" is an apt way of putting things in the circumstances. :)

[Sqad]

LOL...thanks Zac.......he must be at least 70yrs old LOL

[Zacs-Master]

And the rest.

[Sqad]

Zac....when your wife comes home, ask her if she has heard of and the antics of Dr.Hugh Garland.........died years ago but some good stories, he was a Neurologist.

[Zacs-Master]

Will do Sqad.

[Zacs-Master]

In fact, his name is carved into the back of the third cubicle in the Gledhow wing Bogs.

[Zacs-Master]

Just below yours.

[Sqad]

Zac....LOL

Jim.....sorry to have taken so long, but I have just got it. Age and dementia you know ;-)

[Barmaid]

I have 1 girlfriend (known for 28 years) with whom I can discuss anything and she vice versa. We dont speak more than once every 3-4 weeks but when we do the years roll back. I hadnt seen her for 2 years recently when she came to stay - it was as if we had never been apart.

I have 1 manfriend, with whom I can discuss affairs of the heart (and he is always very sensible) and he will do the same with me. We talk/text daily.

I have a small group of girlfriends with whom I can discuss anything and who will tell me when I am being an idiot. We dont get the opportunity to meet up as a group very much but they are very much always there.

I have 1 very special person who IS my best friend. I can talk to him about anything and everything - we normally talk 9 or 10 times a day. He's my OH and I have known him for most of my life. Wherever our relationship goes, I feel I will always have him as a friend.

All of these people have sustained me through a terrible period in my life.

I cant rate them or rank them. There are no "degrees" with these special people who I am bloody lucky to have in my life.

Sorry, probably a bit off topic but all of these people make my life richer they are ALL best friends......