I Wish

[marval]

I wish I hadn’t arrested a magician last night. The trouble started when I asked him to empty his pockets.

Someone has just posted this note through my letter box. E M G N I B B U R I think it’s rubbing me up the wrong way.

I am writing a book about psychic abilities, I can see it being a best seller.

I had a job application rejected today. They said I “didn’t fit the profile.” I asked, “How about if I stand sideways?”

I toss and turn for hours on end until I realise that making a salad isn’t going to relax me.

You wouldn’t believe how many hoops I had to jump through to get my job with the Police dog display team.

My daughter Nioca just asked me why we named her that. I said “Well, darling, your father and I couldn’t decide what to call you, so we flipped a coin.”

I had a threesome with a scalene and an isosceles. It was a love triangle.

I was shopping online and saw a horse that I rather liked. So I clicked “Add to cart.”

I went for an interview at a leading DIY superstore today and they’ve just rung to offer me a post. I must say I would have preferred a job.