Your Opinion Again

[jennyjoan]

Your opinion again please. I have a nephew and niece who live in Scotland. I have never spoken to the nephew in my life and met the niece about 12 years ago. Just got word via sister that they are coming over to Belfast on Sat and want to meet up.

They presumably want to bury my brother's ashes on top of his twin but I am at a loss I don't know where the grave is now as the graveyard is so full up and i don't visit graves per se..

It is St Patrick's day and Belfast goes mad on that day that I gave up going out on St Paddy's day due to the chaotic day.

I don't want to hurt them but I'm not well myself as I am recovering from pretty much major dental surgery from Monday. My cheekbone is black and blue because of the surgery and I cannot understand one word of the Scottish. Sorry to those who are Scots. All I can pick up is "Aye" - that's it.

I haven't a clue what to do.

[tonyav]

jj, could you not ask them to visit you while their in Belfast.

[ummmm]

Tell them what you've just typed.

[spathiphyllum]

Just be honest, communication is key and if the timing is off for you, then that's just how it is, it's one of those things. You have no obligation to host especially if you're recovering

[sherrardk]

Just tell your sister what you have written here (but probably leave out the bit about not understanding them), and them round for a quick cup of tea (whilst explaining that your not really well enough for anything more).

[jennyjoan]

tony - I don't understand what you are saying.

[tonyav]

Ask them if they could pay you a visit while their in Belfast, due to you not being up to going out with your painful cheek bone and because it's going to be chaotic on Saturday.

[jennyjoan]

you know - I live beside the graveyard - and I'll not be long into it myself LOL. I'm only kidding - have to make myself laugh.

I'm taking the attitude Spath - what you say - it is what it is. Years ago I could have dealt with everything and did do but not now.

- you know even if they ring me I won't understand a word they are saying - not one ef word.

[Mamyalynne]

Get your Sister to ring them and explain that you aren't well and don't have the grave location (does no one else have that?).

Get her to add you'd love to see them for a short visit.

[choux]

Does the graveyard haave records (either on line or manual) to show where the twin's grave is, jj?

If they do then perhaps you could let your sister know the location whilst explaining that you are not well enough to have visitors at the moment.

[jennyjoan]

I do not bother friends, families with my company only here in Belfast - not in a million ways would I contact long-lost family to meet them. that's why I don't understand Davina's programme. It's not for me. But that's another story.

[chrissa1]

Are they coming from Glasgow? I’ve always found the
Glaswegian accent very harsh. The rest of Scotland I could manage.

[spathiphyllum]

LOL i like the scots accent, the irish is more appealing though, tell your sister to pass word that you're unwell but they could come over for a cup of tea after they've been to the grave (assuming that's what they want to do) let them know you're recovering so you're house bound for a bit

[jennyjoan]

think she's going to do that but she too doesn't want to hurt them by saying things over and over again making them feel unwelcome. anyway that's all folks - good night x

[spathiphyllum]

"That's why I don't understand Davina's programme"

LOL LOL

[ummmm]

Long Lost Family is completely different!!

[jennyjoan]

they are Glaswegian- oh god - niece rang me years ago and I was exhausted when I came off the phone and I thought I had paralysis of my arm because my hand was practically inside my ear and no didn't understand one word. She was saying Aye and I was saying Aye. that's about it LOL

[jennyjoan]

well as I said long lost family is another story.

[Mamyalynne]

If you really wish to distance yourself from family, be they long lost or not - feelings may well get hurt but you'll have your peace and quiet.

We all have choices.

[andres]

Who owns the grave papers? The grave will be located probably in a lettered or numbered row . If you don't know who has them maybe the Cemetery Office will be able to help. Just ask your sister she might know.

[tonyav]

JJ, watch this vid and then you'll be able to understand what they are saying.