Happily Single

[nailit]

I just wrote on another post that I live the life of a monk nowadays and happily so!
I also saw a FB post today about an 80 year study by Harvard on happiness, this study came to the conclusion that happiness is based on the quality of our relationships with others (it took 80 years to reach that conclusion??? Really??? No ****Sherlock!)
This study suggested that single people and loners died earlier and were more prone to disease etc.
This study might have its merits and obviously relationships with others...be it family, friends, work colleagues, neighbors etc...play an immense roll in our lives, but why do people think that single people are unhappy?
Ive never been happier been single.
(and I'm somewhat of a loner. I have friends around and often looking at the clock as to when I can get back to my book)

[spathiphyllum]

You can be happy doing anything. It takes a specific path to become enlightened.

I don't think single people are unhappy at all. As you mentioned monks.. they are the most enlightened of us all and they live in chastity

[Peter Pedant]

// that I live the life of a monk nowadays and happily so! //

so your current address is HM Prison Shepton Mallet is it?
but but but
sorry about that - half my school seems to be there at present

[Peter Pedant]

// and they live in chastity//
.... should live in chastity

but but but was meant to be hur hur hur

[ummmm]

I was happy single. I've never been on my own though. I had my first child at 18 so have always shared a house with someone.

I don't think I could live alone. I thought I could but now the kids are adults OH went away with his parents and I started pining after a few days.

[naomi24]

Monks don't usually live alone.

[naomi24]

Great minds and all that, ummmm. Being single and living alone are two very different things.

[hereIam]

More than happy living on my own and like you nailit, as much as I enjoy visitors, I also enjoy them leaving !

[nailit]

//Monks don't usually live alone//
Good point naomi, but you get the gist? ;-)

//I don't think I could live alone. I thought I could but now the kids are adults OH went away with his parents and I started pining after a few days//
Several years ago I posted about my relationship breakup, lost my missus, stepson etc. It cracked me up. NOW, I wonder how I survived *IN* the relationship. Im so much better dealing with life on my own.

[nailit]

//Being single and living alone are two very different things//
Exactly. That's why I found this 80 year Harvard study flawed.

hereiam, glad Im not on my own, lol

[naomi24]

Oh yes, Nailit, I get the gist. :o)

[ummmm]

It depends on the relationship. I get on very well with my OH but I have walked away from relationships in the past. I'm not afraid of being single but I think a life time of living with people it would be very hard to adjust to living alone.

I don't 'need' love or affection. I just want to see the people I love the most.

[Mamyalynne]

I small piece on the study itself, I'm sure there is reams more.

https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard-study-has-been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/

[Mamyalynne]

Death thrust the single life on me and I resented it and found it very hard to settle - I am perfectly at ease in my own company but there's always something missing.

[nailit]

I know so many people in loveless, sexless, emotionless marriages.
Might as well be single like me then :-)
At least they wouldn't have the baggage....

[nailit]

//Death thrust the single life on me and I resented it and found it very hard to settle//
That sad mamy. My mums never been the same either since my dad died.

[tamborine]

its great alone to eat whatever & when. Follow hobbies (piano) without comlaint. tv & remote control/internet/gizmos - unshared. After 40+y on call to others, no more for me TG!

[ummmm]

Nailit - I wouldn't stay in a relationship like that.

It can be hard to leave though, finances is top of the list.

[woofgang]

I am kind of in the same boat as you Mamya. I had a very happy marriage and now I have to be alone. I am ok, not lonely, and will never choose to be in another relationship but happiness isn't my default state any more.

[nailit]

//Nailit - I wouldn't stay in a relationship like that//
Some people do though ummm in the hopes of it getting better (I did).
So glad now though that it went tits up in the end. Did me a favour anyway, never been happier, though painful at the time.

[nailit]

//its great alone to eat whatever & when//
And to spend my money on whatever, fart when I want, get up when I want, get steaming when I want, watch what I want...whats not to like??