Other Political Parties Are Available...........

[The Builder]

The Constituency of Answerbank South.

As your officially self-appointed candidate for The Monster Raving Loony Party, I hereby give notice that I shall be standing in the next General Election; sitting around a bit in the Local Elections; and positively sprawling for the MEP elections.

Some details from our past manifestos for your consideration.

HALF the grey squirrels will be painted red to increase the red squirrel population.

FRIVOLOUS Fraud Office setup to inspect fraud too silly for the Serious Fraud Office.

KIDS will be made to sit closer together on smaller desks to reduce school class sizes.

POTHOLES deeper than 3 inches will be marked by a yellow plastic duck.

QUITTERS will be encouraged not to start in the first place to improve their self esteem.

VEHICLES will be fitted with bungy ropes in order to save fuel on the return journey

YELLOW lines will be painted where you CAN park instead of where you CAN'T, to save money.

X-RAY machines will be manned by a skeleton staff.

TAX payers to receive Nectar Points from HMRC

JOBSEEKERS will be made to stand two abreast in order to halve the dole queue.

THE LOONY PARTY propose that voters will get a 30 day cooling off period during which, if you change your mind, didn’t like the result, or didn’t know what you were voting for, you can get your vote back.

I look forward to your support.

[pixie374]

I support you! Although your first point is rather transphobic... x

[Bazile]

I'm in - can i be your campaign spokesman - sorry - spokesperson ?

[Mamyalynne]

Dash it - I'm too far North (or daft) , maybe next time.

[Bazile]

Drinks will be sold without containers , to save on plastics

[Buenchico]

Brilliant, TB!

It good to have some different policies to the mainstream parties ;-)

[The Builder]

Perhaps we should appoint Baz as official Spokessquirrel to appease Pixie.

Mamy: We further propose that the North/South divide be moved to the Scottish border to further inclusivity for Northerners.

[The Builder]

Classic - Bueno ;o)

[pixie374]

Thanks builder x what is your policy on idiot drivers? X

[jno]

the Monster Raving Loonies it was who first proposed pet passports and 24-hour licensing (and Sutch had long been capaigning for votes at 18 too). You know it makes sense.

[Lie-in King]

You might not be loony enough, but I'm in :-)

[The Builder]

Pix - we propose that all roads should remain clear on any week with a Friday in it - to allow idiot drivers the opportunity to drive around and write each other off.

[pixie374]

Perfect... I thought there might be some shooting involved- but a great start x

[The Builder]

Thank you for your roar of support, Mr King.

Catch 22 should apply - anyone foolish enough to think they are not loony, has already condemned themselves to inclusion.

[The Builder]

jno - you may remember that we also advocated the introduction of a 99p coin - to avoid all that faffing around with change in 99p shops.

[pixie374]

We need to do something about arrogant shop staff, used car salesmen and too much football on TV... any ideas?

[The Builder]

Pix - we propose that all TV football commentators and pundits be replaced by arrogant shop staff and used car salesmen to encourage viewers to lose interest and go out and support their local pubs.

[Muntin]

Can we vote more than once, to compensate for silly people who might vote for someone else?

[pixie374]

Perfect:-)

[The Builder]

Thank you for that, Muntin. I shall bring it up at the next Partly Political Conference ;o)

[choux]

Candidates over a certain age should not have to stand for election, you will need all the support you can get, or maybe take a folding sun chair with you.

As I too am in my dotage may I request a pistol vote please? ;)