Telling My Mil

[Rockrose]

This evening about my father.
Feel we have to as they live within a few miles of each other and I maybe spotted whilst I am there visiting him.
Do you think it’s reasonable to ask her not to approach any of the family?
She has a habit of acting like a professional mourner!

[rockyracoon]

Yes, I think it's very reasonable. Just tell her that things are being kept private and the family doesn't want to discuss it.

[Mamyalynne]

I think it's fair to request she gives them some space and privacy just now, try to not make it sound like an order.

Difficult for you all.

[retrocop]

Yes It is a little unreasonable especially as they live near to each other. Why cause even more unplesantness unless you tell her he is too weak to receive visits at the moment.

[Rockrose]

Retrocop she would take it upon herself to visit all family members involved

[Maydup]

Some people mean well, but their actions are so inappropriate. I do feel for you.

Best tell her and see what happens. It could be that a ban on visiting makes her want to do it all the more. Can someone else be asigned to managing her while you look after your family?

[calmck]

Not being intrusive but are you still married to her son. If yes will your OH not tell her? Are you likely to run into her in a shop etc? If there is a high chance of running into her could you put a note in mailbox. If less likely wait till you meet and then just say your dad does not want to see anyone at the moment and you will contact her when he is stronger

[retrocop]

//Retrocop she would take it upon herself to visit all family members involved.//
Does she live in Northern Ireland as well?

[Rockrose]

I am married to her son and he will tell her tonight.
No retro she does not live in NI and neither does my father

[anneasquith]

Seriously rr, at this time let your husband deal the mil. What she does with the information in truth will not alter circumstances, .

[woofgang]

I think its absolutely acceptable to ask her to give the family a private space, although whether she will do so is another matter..... I absolutely understand the problem.....been on the receiving end of professional mournerism myself

[Rockrose]

Woof she is very good at playing the victim!

[wolf63]

I know that your relationship with your mil is strained but, hopefully, your oh can explain things to her in a way that she actually listens to. Failing that I would be tempted to have a very frank chat with her. You have nothing to lose.

It must be hard for you having to deal with this whilst so far away from your dad. I know that you are very close.

xx♥xx

[Rockrose]

I Am actually dreading next weekend

[Mamyalynne]

That's totally understandable, the fear is real and often all we want to do is run and not face it - but you will sweetheart.x

[Rockrose]

Mamya as always thanks for your support

[Rockrose]

As predicted a complete over reaction on her part!!

[Smowball]

I absolutely hate asking but I don’t know what the situation is?

[Mamyalynne]

Smow

https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/ChatterBank/Question1655501.html

[Rockrose]

It’s ok smow 2 weeks ago completely out of the blue dad was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour and given 9 months max

[Smowball]

Oh god I’m so sorry xx (thanks Mamya xx)