Cold Calls

marval | 14:17 Sun 16th Jun 2019 | Jokes

2 Answers

I accidently put my phone in the fridge yesterday. Been getting cold calls ever since.

A German bloke has opened a barbers at the end of our street. Herr Kutt.

I tried and failed at making a suitcase earlier. I couldn’t handle it.

I think I’m going to have to give up smoking. As well as it being expensive, I just don’t know what to do with all these kippers.

I’ve just finished reading Mr Kipling’s autobiography. Normally I struggle to read those kind of books. But that was a piece of cake.

Tomorrow is my first day at a factory that makes thermometers. Unfortunately, it is only a temp job.

My mate asked me to join a new dating agency he was in called “coconut” I wanted to join but i was shy.

My partner made the allegation “I think you’ve had an affair with that Welsh bloke, from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch”. I said, “How can you say such a thing?”

I just dropped my calculator into my dinner. Looks like I’m having pi then.

Bob finishes off his lunch in the restaurant and goes to get his coat, but is unable to find it.
“Waiter?” he says. “Did you by any chance see someone stealing my coat?”
“Yes,” says the waiter, “I did.”
“Well?” says Bob. “Out with it! What did he look like?”
The waiter shrugs his shoulders and says, “Absolutely ridiculous. It was tight across the back and the sleeves were much too short for him.”