National Limerick Day

[Ken4155]

Today is National Limerick Day, so here's one i prepared earlier - about 2 mins earlier;

There is a man called de Pfeffel
Who isn't always on the level
Some say he's a gent
Others argue he's bent
While some say he's actually the Devil.

[Jackdaw33]

All the limericks I know are not fit to print.

[Ken4155]

That's why i've to make my own ones up, Jackdaw ;-)

[bhg481]

There was an old man called Ghandi
Who went to the bar for a shandy
As he blew off the froth
His loin cloth fell off
The barman said "Gad, that's handy"

[emmie]

there is a man called starmer
who isn't always calmer
some think he's alright
but he isn't much liked
thrown out of a pub made him see red
better off now to retire to bed.

[emmie]

poor i know but ive been awake since 5, lol

[emmie]

bhg, ken very good.

[Ken4155]

Just found this one which i like;

A tutor who tooted the flute
Tried to teach two young tooters to toot
Said the two to the tutor
"Is it harder to toot, or
Tutor two tooters to toot."

[emmie]

wonder who else with come up with some limericks, Sunny dave if he's about could do with some.....

[emmie]

jack, if they aren't too rude, why not.....

[Ken4155]

There was a young man named Riddle
Who went into Boots playing his fiddle
He was taken to task
For not wearing a mask
The manager said, "Go try Lidl."

[nescio]

...and this one, to subvert the whole genre:
There once was an old man of Troon,
Who ate only soup, with a fork.
For he said, "As I eat
neither fish, fowl nor flesh,
I would otherwise finish too quick."

[Ken4155]

There was a decorator called Ken
Who was asked to paint 3T's den
Ken turned up on time
Did a job so sublime
So 3Ts paid an extra cock and hen

[Jackdaw33]

Along the same line as Nescio:

The was a young fellow called Lee
Who was stung on the neck by a wasp
When asked if it hurt
He said, "No, not at all
It can do it again if it likes".

[bhg481]

One from my schooldays:

There was a Dominican monk
Who went to sleep in a bunk.
He dreamt that Venus
Tickled his elbow
And woke up covered in bedclothes.

[Ken4155]

Nescio, i thought i'd heard your limerick before so i Googled. And discovered that you had used it before - 24 Feb 2008 to be precise! Some of the other limericks on the page would not be allowed woith today's mods, that's for sure.

[Ken4155]

And the one Jackdaw posted is also on the same page.

[emmie]

Written by Spike Milligan

Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
I'll draw a sketch of thee,
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B?

[ToraToraTora]

There was a young man from Hong Kong
Who though Limericks were written too long.

[Bobbisox1]

There was a nice man called 3 Ts
That tells everyone that he sees
This Government is best it’s been put to the test
And I agree with him also ( for a small fee)
I’ll get me coat :0(

[ToraToraTora]

not often been accused of being a nice man! cheers bobbs!