The Past Few Days

[StupidGuy]

(Just a quick edit from the future, I realise I kind of went on a bit of a rand, but this was how I truly felt at the time, and I wanted to keep authenticity.)

 

Ever since douglass9401 made that comment on my last question, I have been realising that everything is because of that. My entire life has been about wanting attention.

 

I will be suprised if people understand the sheer amount of realisation I have done over the past 2 days. Every single little thing/problem in my life, has been somehow centered around me. I always wondered why I want to start streaming games, or doing certain things at random times. It was all for attention. All the little facial expressions of disinterest from everyone I know when I show them something, was all because they knew I was doing it for attention. Even my previous questions, were worded in a way that put me in a position to be noticed! And I did this all subconciously.

 

Once I read douglass's comment, I went and googled some stuff, and the way that self-centered people were shown made me sound like a horrible person. As if it put me in the same basket as emotional manipulators, and narcissists, and mental abusers.

 

The hardest pill to swallow is that they was correct. That I do mostly view myself as the center of attention. That I have been living my life like I was overly-special. That I have a hard time taking criticism. That is what I am doing now! Trying to justify why I'm not the center of attention! Why they must  wrong somehow! Why. Why. Why is he correct?

 

Sorry for that rant, but ultimately I think that douglass did a good thing for me, because it opened my eyes to my true reality, and now I can try and fix it. So thanks douglass :)

[StupidGuy]

I am truly sorry for the rant I went on here. If I could delete it, I  would. I only say that because I suspiciously got no comments at high traffic time so I am apologising for anyone I might have deflected with my rant.

[wolf63]

I don't think that you were being ignored.  The past weekend was a Bank Holiday weekend ad folk were off enjoying themse!ves.

Or - like me now, they have had a busy day and their old brain is ready for bed.

It is bedtime here in Scotland.  I hope you have a good week.

[StupidGuy]

Fair enough, I don't check the events in the UK or that surrounding area. Just poor timing I guess!

 

[jourdain2]

Yes, poor timing is all - life's like that.  I've only just seen this.

Yes, well done for seeing clearly.  It's something that I think we all have to do and it is always a shock.

I'm pleased for you - and well done douglas!   😊