Favourite Types of jokes

[ali_alic]

Do any of you Ab'ers have a favourite TYPE of joke. Mine has got to be the "a man walks into the bar" ones. Such as .. : a bear walks into a bar and asks for a pint of..................guiness, the barman asks "why the big pause".. "two blondes walk into a building, you'd have thought one of them would have seen it" etc

[Quizmonster]

I used to like the..."A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman..." ones, though I haven't heard one for years. Invariably, one of the trio did/said something wonderful after the other two had made absurd errors. Of course, it depended on which country you were in or which nationality the joke-teller was as to who was the clever one!

[waimarie]

Hi ali_alic, My favourite bar joke : This white horse walks into a bar, straight to the counter and says "A pint of your best ale landlord, if you please". Of course, the landlord is astonished and takes a moment or two to get his head back together. "That's fantastic", he said. "A white horse talking, do you know we have a whisky named after you?". "What, Eric ?", said the horse.

[waimarie]

This old chestnut for Quizmaster. : An Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman are in front of a firing squad in an unnamed South American country. The Scotsman shouts "earthquake, earthquake!!", the firing squad throw themselves on the ground and the Scotsman hops over the wall and legs it. The Englishman sees this and shouts "Avalanche, avalanche", the firing squad throw themselves on the ground to avoid the expected debris, the Englishman hops over the wall and legs it. The Irishman thinks he'll have some of this and shouts "Fire, fire!!".........

[Azimov]

I also appreciate the Scotsman, Englishman &I myself tell jokes Irishman series of jokes, even though I'm a Scotsman myself!

If we can't laugh at ourselves then what's the point?

However, I can't help but laugh at the following joke that was voted Best Joke Ever (worldwide) sometime last year (or was it the year before? I forget!)

Here it is, again, if you missed it!

A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy immediately whips out his cellphone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps to the operator: �My friend is dead! What do I do?�
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: �Just take it easy, I can help."
..."First, let's make sure he's dead.�
There is a silence, footsteps, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line.
He says: �OK, now what?"

[raysparx]

This Is the best joke ever,no arguing!!

What is Brown & Sticky ?

A Stick !!!

It makes me laugh and Iv'e heard it before !!!

[Hmmmmmmm]

A horse (a different horse) walks into a pub, the barman looks at him and says "Why the long face?"

[THECORBYLOON]

Two cows in a field, which one's been on holiday?

The one that's just had the wee calf.......

[rojash]

Bill Bailey does this brilliant one that starts:
"Three men go into a pub - well, I say three, actually it was two..." and launches into this surreal situation where they have to find a substitute for the third, who's been delayed in a shaggy dog story...