cats not getting along - Help please!!!!

[cyberfraggle]

I hope someone can help me. My mum has 2 cats, we got them both at the same time about 11 years ago (they aren't related though). They are both female and both neutered. Over the past year one of them has become a real bully towards the other. everytime she walks past she'll lash out at her, growls and is generally nasty. they both get equal attention and used to get on brilliantly. does anyone have any ideas as to why this might have happened, or any ideas as to what might help solve the problem, I'd be very grateful. - nothing different has happened in this time that might have affected them. Thanks I hope someone can help.

[luckyeight]

The only advice I can give is experience - cats need to know their 'place' - very much like dogs... So you quite often get the 'alpha ' cat and the submissive cat.... Just the way it works and they have figured out their relationship naturally... You can't do much about it I don't think. The cats I have in mind were companions but sometimes had vicious fights, and the alpha ate all the food and demanded all the affection! sometimes it's a bit distressing for a human to watch but you cant' do much to dictate cats' relationships to one another.... They will work it out on their terms....

[cyberfraggle]

Thank you, I didn't think there would be much we could do. I just don't think they're normal, but is any cat:) Sometimes they do that thing where they wave their paws at each other and totally miss! but never a vicious fight. Also it's the submissive cat that loves the food and nothing stops her eating. I told my mum I'd see if there was anything that could be done. They've been like this for about a year but just recently the bully seems to be really grumpy - I think it's just the way she is in her old age. Thanks for your help anyways.

[luckyeight]

I think often humans watch cats and try to impart human values.. not to say that if cats don't get on that's ok - obviously if an animal is significantly distressed then the situation couldn't continue... but cats living together will definitely have a relationship 'pecking order'. It sounds quite natural what you are describing - especially the waving of paws bit! And if the submissive cat gets most food it sounds like they've worked out a functional relationship. Do they sleep together? Do they spend time together or are they alway s separate?

[Elfin]

Did anything happen a year ago that may have started this? Any disruption? My neighbour has a pair of cats that used to get on brilliantly, then one of them got hit by a car and had to spend a while in the vets. When this one eventually came home, the other cat hissed and growled at her (presumably due to the different smells etc) and they have been distant ever since. I did notice that the one that stayed at home was lording it up while the other one was away - I think she liked being on her own. Incidentally, they are both female too.

[Mrs_Pegasus]

We have 2 cats (brother and sister). They lived happily together for 18 months, no problems. Then we started noticing the female cat who used to hide behind her big brother started picking on him for no reason. This has now escalated to a point where the male cat rarely comes into the house and when he does it is only to eat. We have tried to keep him in and make as much fuss as we can but nothing works. He gets agitated and sometimes strikes out at us.

I will watch this post because if anyone can come up with suggestions I would be keen to hear them.

[catlavender]

Sorry I've no suggestions but I think this can be quite normal as other people's experiences have shown. I have 2 cats and one is sometimes terrified of the other. She doesn't bully her so much but she does like to chase her and sometimes will jump out on her or paw at her like you say. I think she just wants to play but the other one is very nervy as she was ill treated before I got her so she just can't handle it and runs off. I try to make sure I spend some time with each of them every day, fussing them and combing them and play with the 'bully' cat with a fluffy thing on a stick in the hope if she uses her excess energy chasing that she won't chase the other cat. They are both very spoilt like most cats! I think like luckyeight says they do have a pecking order. My Mum has 5 cats and they all seem to know where they stand with each other.

[Birt]

I have 2 cats (mother and daugther) the mother always seems to bully the daughter and the younger one always looks so innocent and hard done to when this happens. Now and again though the daughter will run into a room and swipe her mum a few times then runs out. Dont be sure what happens between them when you are not there. Im sure the younger of my cats is just as bad as the mother but doesnt do it while we are watching

[cyberfraggle]

Thank you all for your help, at least I know now it's not just ours. They eat together, and sleep together at night, the odd quibble now and again. We only worry really when my mum goes away for a week, sometimes 2, I go up to the house 2, sometimes 3 times a day to feed them and make sure they're ok, but I do worry about leaving them as the quiet one looks petrified - but i usually say she's usually a pain in the back side while we're not around. The other cats we've had had never had this problem - but they were male and female.