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Just Desserts???

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daffy654 | 14:32 Tue 16th Oct 2007 | ChatterBank
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Some of you may have seen the posts where I have mentioned that my next door neighbour beats his wife...Well to cut a long story short he had a stroke at the weekend and is now paralysed down one side.Would you say he has got his just desserts or would you not wish this on anyone?
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I think Karma is the word
No wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

I've not seen your other posts, so obviously don't know the history here, but she should have got herself a backbone and left him.
I am speechless. The Good Lord never sleeps.
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I'm wondering now whether she will leave him or spend the rest of her days being his carer through some sense of guilt or duty. I know strokes can cause personality changes so maybe he'll be nice now.We can only hope!
I never wish for anything bad to happen to anyone but I am a great believer in what goes around comes around.
I'm saddened for both of them. All this does is compound the tragedy. No doubt, she will faithfully care and nurture him to health, but possibly under even greater stress, as people who have had strokes are frustrated, frightened, and often distraught.

Perhaps they both need a good samaritan right now.

Fr Bill
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I do have to say that his stroke was probably brought on by his chronic alcoholism and stress levels.
I am not that friendly with the neighbour as she got upset at me once when I threatened to put her hubby on his a**e when he went for me, but I will ask her if she would like to come round for a coffee some time and take it from there.
Hi All, i agree with mrs_overall, love megan. xx
I hope she leaves him , A lady in my road is soooo miserable her husband many years ago was having an affair & about to leave her when he had a stroke & is quite disabled. The mistress left him & she stayedand cared for him.....leave him leave him .!!!
Sorry not so compasionate today..;(
I hope every time he sees his droopy face in the mirror he is reminded of every whack he gave his defenceless wife.

Yes I agree, she should have left him, but women really are the weaker sex when it comes to a physical fight. I am not a hard man but would bet my house I could even beat ANY woman even if they had a black belf in Judo in a fight.

Wife beaters are scum. He deserves eternal pain and indignity.

However, if he beat his dog or horse, he deserves even more!!!!
A couple of years ago I buried the �town drunk.� That�s how he was referred to for years. He was a pathetic site, often found on the pavement with his trousers round his ankles. He reeked of urine, alcohol and faeces. His wife was no different.

When I carried the man to his home, I left him on his kitchen floor, never going deeper into the house. As I left, a neighbour told me not to bother with them, they were both just a couple of drunks.

I came back the next day. I had to fight back my reflex to wretch as I pushed the back door open. There were stacks of frozen ready meals on top of the rubbish bin that had never been opened. When I moved deeper into the house, I found the wife. She was sitting in her own excrement in a wing chair. He was sitting across from her, passed out.

I phoned the ambulance. She died later that day. When I returned to the home to tell the man, the news of her death didn�t even register with him.

I fought with the doctors to get the man admitted to hospital. They refused to do it, saying they weren�t wasting any more money on him. I eventually got him admitted to the geriatric psychiatric unit at our local hospital. When the GP found out about it, he went ballistic with me, actually shouting about my not having the right to make decisions for his patients. I shouted right back, pointing out that the budget didn�t come from his, nor did the responsibility. I filed a complaint with the local trust and the BMA. I received an apology.

Continued
Part 2

With help of an excellent team, we got the gentleman dried out and cleaned up. I placed him in a nursing home where his 99 year old mother was. It was so touching to watch her stroking her son as if he were a baby. She had not seen him sober in over twenty years. Sadly, his liver was too far gone and he died a few months later.

When I began cleaning his home out, I found in a filing cabinet, an MBE he had received for bravery as well as an Imperial Service Medal for his work with the MOD. But what shocked me most was the contents of a grey file folder. It chronicled his work in the Soviet Union, where he had worked to bring politically important people to freedom. He had married a Russian girl inside the British Affairs office there. Three days later, according to the synopsis, his wife was killed by KGB agents, as he tried to move her across to Estonia. There was a faded photo of a corpse that I gather must have been his wife.

According to his mother, he never recovered from this. His new wife worked at baby Castle, part of Bernardo�s. She had signed off a small child back to its family when it had been presented to Bernardo�s under suspicion of abuse. About two weeks later, the child came back to Bernardo�s, but failed to live from the abuse it had sustained. She felt responsible for this and slipped into the abyss of acute alcoholism.

We never know what others lives are and what has caused them to be the way they are. We are quite adept at judging them. I wish our commitment to serving our fellow neighbours were as adept as our ability to judge.

Fr Bill
At least she has the upper hand now. Many women are so scared and insecure when a man hits them (regulary) and if shes from the older generation, it'll probably be against all she believes in for her to leave her husband- especially now. Shes probably a nice person so just be there to give her a friendly smile and maybe offer to help if you see she needs it (she may be too proud to ask). Shes lucky to have a caring neighbour like you, and yes he deserved what he got(shame a bus didn't hit him first though!)
Good story Fr. Bill - It reminds me of the old Native American saying "Never judge a man untill you've walked a mile in his moccassins"
Father Bill, that is indeed a touching story. And yes, we do not know the history of folk. But WE can judge the present and if the present was him hitting his wife, then there is no excuse.

I have had more heartbreak and seen more horrors in my short life than a thousand people would see in a thousand years, but I have not even drank my sorrows away, let alone become violent and an alcoholic. I came out smiling because, life's too short to just waste away.

This can be likened to hard drug use. It is reported that a huge majority of heroin users come from an abusive household. Whilst I hold every sympathy for these, at times, only children, it was THEIR choice to inject that 10-bag of smack up their veins. Society may have given them have a sh!tty life, but it was their own volition that made them find the money for heroin, buy the heroin, inject the heroin and become a junkie.

Your story tells me what a good honest chap you are, but all the infrastructure was there for the man to help himself!!! It is like that religious story where a man refuses help when the floods come as he believed God will save him. When he finally drowned, God said "But I sent you a floating branch, I sent you a lifeboatman, I sent you a helicopter. What more can I have done???"

Is there any room in Christianity inthe notion some folk are just born bad, and the wife beater was just so. Surely, such actions will give him a one way ticket to Chez Satan, no?
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I've just posted a get well card through their door so maybe it will be an opening for her to come and speak to me. I am trying to muster sympathy for the man but am struggling as I have heard him many times beating his wife and dog. I have reported him to our local police officer,crimestoppers and the RSPCA but she has stayed with him anyway. Lord knows why battered women stay with their partners but if she wants to talk I will try and be a good listener.
What is Bernado's? Has it anything to do with Dr.Barnado's at all?
He beat his dog?????

Give me his address and I will burn his testicles and blind him. He'll think twice about doing it again.

The man is pure evil.

My heart and feelings are now 100 percent for the poor wee dog.
It does and it came out as a acknowledged guilt in typing too fast and forgetting there is a Barnardo's and there's a Bernado's... Apologies. I hope you will be able to see beyond my typing errors. Moving between continents as I do often clouds my abilities to communicate effectively.

Fr Bill
See...I did it again....in 'an' acknowledged guilt

Fr Bill

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