Tug of the kids then police!

[station4]

Long story short separated from husband for 15 months both have new people. Abusive ex constant texts and calls, saying things in front of kids that they don;t need to hear. He not seen them for 3 weeks as wanted alone time with girlfriend dispite my attempts to change his mind. Kids went to his sat night, got call yesterday saying they out of control won;t do as told and I can pick them up (they were due to stay til thurs). I called back to see what had happened and was told my son had misbehaved and he would be dropped off as he wanted nothing more to do with him and washed his hands of him. I text saying that they are brother and sister 7 & 4 and they go together he either dicipline my son and keep them or I collect them both. Anyway I said no and went to my old house just as he arrived home I asked my sister to go and see what going on as I did not want confrontation infront of my kids. He got out of car came charging towards me his mother then came out (she live next door) and tried to take the children screaming into her house. At this point I put them in the car all the time he kicking car and trying to smash wind screen he then charged at the car as I tried to drive away. Now waiting for police to come and think I may finally have to get injunction and residence order???? Now in tormoil did I do right? just wanted to protect my children and am justifiably afraid everytime they go as he alway threaten to kill himself if I dont go back but to everyone else he completely happy with new GF??????? Sorry to ramble but what a mess!!!!! My son would have been destroyed had he been sent home alone! He had also told me earlier during the day when I spoke to him as he has refused to pay maintenance this month as I should pay him to have them???!!!!

[MiniN]

you poor thing, having to deal with your ex. you sound like a top mum, trying to keep things under control for your kids and not arguing back with him.

what a bad father if he can't keep a 7yr old under control. i'm not suprised if your son was acting up if his dad didnt want to see him for 3weeks so he could spend time with his gf. you can't put kids on hold!?

did u get the injunction on him then?

if he starts saying he wants to kill himself, then I'm not sure he should be spending time alone with his kids. if he is not in a happy place, then he won't be able to look after them properly. are supervised visits an option?

[Velvetee]

He is using your children to score points and from what you say, sounds like he isn't really bothered about them. How can any mentally functioning adult say they are washing their hands of a child who has misbehaved, he sounds like he has a few screws loose.

Your children do not need to be in that kind of environment. I'm sure you are aware, that boys who witness their father's violence, are more lilkely to become violent in adult life, than those who do not.

As for him threatening to kill himself, I would personally tell him to go ahead. I expect he is too cowardly to go through with it and it's just another way of him maintaining control of you.

If you don't already, you should probably keep a diary of all these events and police complaints. I know he is their father, but some children are better off without fathers, if they behave in the way your husband is. It can only serve to damage them. If it was me, I wouldn't allow him to see them, until he sorts himself out and behaves like a civilised person around them.

I hope it all works out and that your children aren't too tarnished by all this turmoil.

[station4]

I am waiting for my solicitor to call to try and sort a non molestation order. I just feel sorry for my kiddies, they deserve two loving parents but I agree as a last resort I think that at the moment they may be better off without him.

[MiniN]

one loving parent is better two parents; one scared and stressed, the other deranged.

i can't believe your ex would say he wanted to disown a 7yr old. do u think he meant this or was just angry at the time and it was a slip of the tongue? (not that i'm condoning him saying it)