Does Modern Society put you off having children?

[Tups]

I often wonder whether I would have children in this day and age. Mine are now in their early twenties and I went through a living Hell when they were in their teens as they succumbed to some of the peer pressures put upon them. Has anyone here made a conscious decision not to have children because of all the overt indecency that now plagues our Society?

[Sachs]

Hi Tups, I would'nt like to be bringing a child up now. I have a daughter aged 22 & a son of 20. Things were getting ugly regards attitudes/ material greed/ one upmanship when they were growing up. As a parent you can fight it, but your kids are out there & regardless of what you have taught them are open to outside influences. May be todays parents can give their views of what it's like bringing a child up today? xxx

[Tups]

I totally agree Sachs. My grand daughter is only 22months but it only seems like yesterday she was born. It won't be long before she's a part of the crazy world out there! I dread it!

[lil75]

I have 2 children, aged 13 and 10, I hate letting them go out, if my daughter goes out on a saturday to the cinema, I drop her and her friend off, and pick them up when there done. The other day my sons friend come round, ive never met this boy before and he was very nice, I asked him where he lives and it was quite far away from my house, a 20 minute walk, my son then asked me if they could walk to his house, I said mmm I dunno, he and his friend were begging and I let him....I hated it, and rung him half way through his journey to make sure he was alright, on the other hand this boys mother drives (as do I) but she was quite hapy to let her son walk home from mine at 8 o'clock at night, I was disgusted to be honest, would happily drive the boy home just to know he got back safely, but then I think, why should I? the boys mum isnt that worried otherwise she would get in the car herself!!! Maybe im too overprotective, but at least I know where my kids are and what they are doing!

[Tups]

I know what you mean. I often wonder whether or not I've been over protective, but better that way than the other! I think (hope) they appreciate it in the end. My daughter went off the rails big time when her dad died and I had no control over her. Now, 7 years later, she sends me text messages apologising for being such a 'cow' (her word) and telling me she now appreciates what I've done for her. I can't say there aren't blips in our relationship still but it's good to know that, in her responsible moments, she looks back and acknowledges I was right!

[[email protected]]

Tell you what, I think you will find this site a good help. www.onelifeboard.com

[puddicat]

you are creating your own stress what aload of !!!, there has always been issues, why are they more prevalent in 2008

[puddicat]

why not put them in a plastic bubble, or maybe not have children if its all bad out there!!!

[puddicat]

Look back the only good people came out of previous angst!!!

[Abdulmajid]

I am soon to be married to a woman in her prime who probably wants children. I more than likely have a higher sperm count than a bull blue whale but do not want really want children.

I never grew up with any siblings or cousins so am not usd to children littering my house and pooping nappies.

Also, what do they have to look forward to??

1) Being stabbed by some imported African?

2) Being blown up by some imported muslim?

3) Catching MRSA at any hospital?

4) Joining the military and fighting some war which can not be won?

So yes, is the answer to your question.

Only David Cameron and a reinstatement of traditional, colonial values will change my mind.

Or if my wife insists.

[puddicat]

so you are what they said abdul!

[Tups]

Puddicat, of course there has always been trouble and I know it's a cliche that the 'good old days' were better but surely the problems, though seemingly serious in earlier generations, were less serious. There was no drug abuse, no AIDS, no violent TV programmes and films, no gang warfare, no gratuitous violence on the streets. Even when I was younger, a murder was a rare and very dramatic thing and covered the front page of the papers and if it was a policemen, the shockwaves across the country were tangible. TV presenters - for those who actually had TV - were respectable and didn't behave like idiots and certainly didn't use bad language. I could go on and on but I'm sure I am already boring you. Call me a grumpy old woman if you will, but Life Out There is much worse than even a generation ago. Even as a school teacher, I have noticed a marked difference in the behaviour of the children I've taught in recent years, compared with that of children I taught 10 years ago. But that's another story ...

[lil75]

Tups, agree with you 100% on this one!!!, apart from all what you have mentioned, what about these gangs that go around and pick on a innocent person and all procede to literally kick there head in....Just the other wk, my friends son of 14 walked his gf home, on the way back he walked past a gang of boys and for no reason, bottled him in the head!!! I really dont want my kids running around on the streets where this sort of behaviour is going on and sod all being done about it, I would rather take responsibilty for my kids and no that they are safe and well...its a shame the parents of these "other" kids dont do the same, im sure the world would be a better place!

[Tups]

I'm sorry about your friend's boy lil, terrible. I live near a notoriously rough estate and feel real sorry for the kids being brought up there. In a way, you can understand why their parents bring them up to be tough and aggressive because that's the only way they are going to survive! I can't see a way forward now; it's not like a game where you can blow the whistle and say, 'Right now everyone, things are getting a bit out of control so let's start again!' We seem to be going back to the Middle Ages, where Life was extremely difficult and life expectancy was very low. Perhaps Man is indeed inherently aggressive and destructive! They say every pet dog is 99% wolf (according to that Martin Clunes programme, anyway!); Maybe every household man is 99% Caveman, surviving by being powerful with the wooden club and growling and beating his chest the loudest! God help us!