In appreciation for helping him with his fence,

[wildwood]

Mrs W and I were recently treated to a lovely dinner in a comfortable restaurant by a fairly newish neighbour couple from two doors down, As the meal progressed the man asked us why one of us said 'thank you' every time the waitress brought something to the table, as she was being paid to do so. I was not even aware that we did, but feel this surely is common courtesy and over the years the missus and I have unconsciously developed a repertoire where one of us says thank you where needed. Initially I thought that we were in the company of a couple of snobs but in due course these people appear very much an average nice couple with the usual concerns and hopes everyone has. This makes me wonder....., do you say thank you when the waitress/waiter brings stuff to your table or a shop assistant hands you the item you've paid for? Since last week I've sort of kept an eye on other people's behaviour and am surprised that some don't say anything to a checkout operator in the supermarket during the whole transaction - and some assistants give them the same courtesy in kind.

[terambulan]

its common politeness for service; I do same.

Respect for all is my watchword and woe betide those who demean my attitude.....I can be very cutting!

[brenda]

Agree with terambulan.

Common courtesy, of course it is, and it does help to make this c**p world of ours a better place to be in.

Carry on saying thank you, I 'm with you on that.

[yogasun]

Myself and other half ALWAYS say thank you at checkouts and to waiters/waitresses. Agree with you wildwood and terambulan, it is just common politeness which has gone out of the window in the last decade big time.
On a similar level I have noticed it when teaching. At the end of the session when students (adults) leave about a quarter of them call out or come up and say 'thank you', the others never do.
When I go to any class I can't imagine not thanking the tutor at the end of the session.

[lesblue]

I was brought up to always say "please" and "thank you", and have brought up my kids along the same lines. Courtesy costs nothing, but like you, wildwood, I also notice that a large number of people do not show the same respect.

[~Wingnut~]

Hi wildwood :o)

It is common courtesy to say please and thank you.
I work in a school (cook) and am appalled at the amount of children that have to be prompted to say Please and Thank you. Once we were told by an 8 year old boy in no uncertain terms that he didn't have to say please and thank you to us as his parents paid for his school dinner!
People are always commenting on how well behaved and polite my 2 daughters are and they make me very proud at the respect they show to others.

I am always polite and always say please and thank you to checkout staff and when being waited upon, infact I take it too far and say thank you to the hole in the wall when it spits money out at me!

[sara3]

yes, lots of pleases and thank you's here, and my children are well trained, too.

I think it's ignorance not to. I often hold doors open for people who just waltz through and I can often be heard saying, "it's not my job!"

[Cheekystar]

I too was bought up to say please, & thankyou, to hold doors open, and offer support to elderly people to cross the road. I'm 28, however it surprises me how many older people don't say thank you in return, for example when I hold a door open, or move out of the way, the say its my generation who lack manners, but I find it can be those older too.
As for saying thanks in a resturant, I think its important, manners come for free!

[wildwood]

Thank you all so much. It is very inspiriting to see that there is still an abundance of good manners and civil behaviour around.

[Doc.Spock.1]

I say please and thank you everywhere.

If I am in local shop and person in front, usually young, does'nt say thanks, I remind them.

If they are on a mobile. I butt in front and shout, I presume you don't want serving right now.


I'm pround to be an old fashioned grumpy old s0d.

[annie0000]

I was brought up to say thank you - i don't think that I could stop myself now even if I wanted to. I also expect my own children to say thank you as well. Even at home when I put dinner on the table, I expect to get thanked - it's common curtesy

[Davethedog]

Please and thank you cost nothing.

Just because someone is paid to do a job doesn't mean that common curtesy can't be extended does it?

[Jugglering]

Not only do I thank waiters, waitresses, bus and taxi drivers (cheers, Drive !) I also ask the supermarket checkout operators how they are before they can ask me ! Nobody ever asks them this and they are trained to ask us but do we ever enquire after their health ?

'Please', 'Thank you' and 'How are you?' are only a few words, cost nothing and can make a big difference to someone having to deal with Joe Public.

[Sachs]

Thankyou always! xxx

[heathfield]

In Victorian times, when the upper classes were dining, butlers, maids, and waiters were considered to be not there. To say ''Thank you'' to any of them would be looked upon as a sign of poor breeding. Times have changed, and a thank you has become the norm.

(Similarly, when I visit my doctor I always ask him how he is. Everyone spends the whole time telling him how they are, but the poor guy is normally never asked in return!)

[cassa333]

I even say thankyou to the cash machine.....

Anyway even if I don't say thankyou to the waitress (it can become grating after the 20th visit from them) I will always smile or acknowledge them. Politeness never hurt and it goes a long way to making your meal (or whatever you are doing) more enjoyable.

[saxy_jag]

I always say thank you unless I've received lousy service. I've worked on a checkout in my time and I know how downright rude some customers can be, most of the time without provocation. Checkout, catering and cleaning staff get paid stuff all. The least I can do is acknowledge them and make their day a little more pleasant. It doesn't cost any extra and can sometimes gain you the occasional favour.

.

[Beanmistriss]

and they are less likely to gob in your soup or lick your chips :)

[sara3]

^^^ ewwwwwwwwwwwww!!

[curiosity]

well, I like to think my kids always say please and thankyou as they were taught to, I know they behave politely when I am with them and also tell me some stories of how apalled they were at rudeness. My son who is 17 made me laugh when he said he was running home fast one evening, when he noticed an older woman in front of him start running in a panic, so he stopped, she turned around and they both shared a laugh at her uneasiness and relief that he just happened to be wanting to get home quick. He also witnessed me help a man from a local home who I know is frightened to cross a particular road, he always needs to cross it on a Tuesday as he goes to the library. My son now has also helped him cross it every time he sees him, which I think is great. I always say no thank you to the big issue sellers, rather than ignore them. Oh and wingnut every Christmas and end of term my daughter in primary school always takes in 2 tins of roses/quality street, 1 for the dinner nannies and one for the kitchen staff. It's hard work and much appreciated. But like terambulan, if your rude to me, regardless of age, race or culture, I will tell you that I expect comman decency.

[wildwood]

Wow. I was really expecting a few 'tall poppy' replies but all positives. Thank you all for sharing your feelings.

Let common courtesy and good manners live a long life.