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I need lots of help from lots of writers

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April-Violet | 22:31 Sat 25th Apr 2009 | Arts & Literature
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Would you please review these chapters? I'm a new author and these are still in the very beginning rough draft stages, but I really could use all the help I can get. This may become more evident as you read. Please?

http://www.worthyofpublishing.com/book.asp?boo k_ID=1711
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Can't promise today, or even this week, but I will have a look and get back to you.

It looks an interesting site - I may even sign up.
I had a quick look at the Prologue and chapter 1. It's not clear when the book is set but I'm presuming early 20th Century? If that is so, then I'm not sure someone would use a phrase such as "with a bunch of". In fact quite a lot of the language you use is, I feel, too modern for this kind of story. Also lots of spelling mistakes.

Hope that's helpful

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