Our two boys will just not settle at night

[duckster]

Hi all, we have two boys 6&5 we put them up to bed between half seven and eight, some nights they do not fall asleep until ten at night? They share the same bedroom which may add to the problem, my wife is doing her degree and it is suffering as she cannot concentrate on it until the boys have nodded off!
Any suggestions please?!
Thank you in advance

[shanilisa]

My son was also battling until I used melatonin on him for a few weeks to get his sleeping patterns back in synch. Perhaps give that a try.

[ummmm]

What's melatonin ?

[andy-hughes]

You need to appeal to their sense of maturity.

Tell them mum has work to do, so although they don't have to go to sleep straight away, they can read in bed, but they must be quiet.

A reward chart ios a great incentive - five nights' quiet gets a treat at the weekend. A minor noise looses a day on the chart, major noise looses two, and so on, and they will be keen to please you, and get their treat.

Make sure you apply the rules fairly, and that they understand how the system works. You can allow a few infractions at first while they get used to the idea.

On no account deny them the treat when they've earned it.

Let us know how it works.

[Sachs]

I don't think they would listen to reason at 6 & 5. If at all possible, split them up. Might mean one parent sleeping with one & one the other till they get use to the arrangement x

[andy-hughes]

Shanilisa - I am sure you were joking about using a drug - even one found naturally in the body - to subdue your child.

If not, I would be seriously worried about your approach to parenting. Children respond to love and good example, not drug abuse. If you are serious, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Please post again to confirm to the poster, and other AB'ers that this was a misguided attempt at humour, rather than behaviour that is dengerously close to child abuse.

[duckster]

Cheers Andy, I think that may be the best approach, a reward scheme, I'll have to explain to the wife the kids get the treats not her haha, even better I may do the wife a reward chart! Cheers will let you know how we get on.

[andy-hughes]

Glad you like the idea.

If children are old enough to talk, they are old enough to have a better nature to be appealed to, and to understand the concept of rerward for responisbility. I think they'll respond, do let us know.

[annie0000]

I also have two boys a year apart - they are 7 and 8 now.
When they were younger we were lucky that we were able to have them in separate rooms so that they both got into a good sleep pattern. they wanted to share from about a yera or so ago and we let them, after a couple of nights where the excitement kept them up a bit, they got used to it and settle quite happily - they are allowed to read for a short while then it is lights out and if there is any carry on, they lose a privelidge, but tbh this rarely happens.

If you are doing the usual things to wind them down before bed, bath, book etc then a reward chart may help or loss of priviledge, or you could try sending them up one after the other for a while - allow the younger one to drop off before sending the older one to bed - or allow one to go to sleep in your room then move him.

[tamborine]

fatal......two males together - they'll gossip & muck about all night, lots of examples on here ;)

Either sit in with them (whip in hand) or have one adopted - either way, separate them.

[shanilisa]

Andy - I was not joking. I was advised on this course of action by my paediatrician, so your comments regarding child abuse are unfair and misguided. This was a regulated course of treatment for a period of 3 weeks in order to get my son's sleeping patterns back in synch, and it worked. And by the way, I could not give my son more love and attention if I tried, so rather don't be so judgemental.

[andy-hughes]

Shanilisa - you neglected to mention in your post that the medication was prescribed and regulated - your post infers that you simply obtained the drug and administered it without appropriate supervision, which makes my post a valid criticism.

However, now that I and everyone else is aware of the remaining facts, I hope you will accept my withdrawal of my observations, and my unreserved apologies for any distres called. I am many things, but judgemental is not one of them.

I hope that lays the issue to rest.

[zzxxee]

a routine is needed e.g
tea at 5
hours excersise between 6 and seven eg park or swimming or playing a sport game bath at 7 to 730
story wind down time light off 8pm
its up to you times for meals and bed ect this is just a suggetion and definatley no telly or computer games consoles in bedrooms at night

[shanilisa]

Thanks Andy

[duckster]

AAAAAAAAAAARGH nothing is working
Wits end totally!