i could do with some help please

[GINGER BIRD]

here goes!!!
somethings that my other half did a while ago just didnt add up and i suspected he had been seeing someone else.
i confronted him about it and he insisted that they were just friends who e mailed and texted each other .
i cant get over this and feel that he has betrayed me. by keeping things from me . i dont mind the fact that he was friends with this person its the lying i cant stand. he reckons that i should just forget it and move on with our relationship im trying to do this but i cant stop thinking that everything he is telling me is a lie. he understands that i am hurting but doesnt know why i cant drop it.will it get easier? i really hope so just wondering if anyone else had been inj this position

[ummmm312]

So you don't believe they were just friends?

[GINGER BIRD]

not sure if they werent just friends why would he hide it ?

[GINGER BIRD]

i meant to say if they were just friends why would he hide it ?

[redcrx]

"i dont mind the fact that he was friends with this person its the lying "
what did he lie about?
either you can accept they are just friends and that hes being truthful or you can doubt him. And relationships are very hard without trust

[redcrx]

maybe he hid it because he felt you wouldnt beleive they were just friends

[Rollo]

If, and I repeat if, you have lost trust in your other half then you need to accept that your relationship is doomed to failure.

[GINGER BIRD]

he lied when i asked him who she was. he said it was a bloke and then l;ater tripped himself up

[sara3]

why wasn't he open about this "friend" from the outset? if he thinks it doesn't matter he may well do it again.

I'd be suspicious, but I'm a deeply suspicious person!

[sn�gs]

''I cant get over this''

I think you've answered your own question...

[GINGER BIRD]

he said that he lied about her being a bloke because he didnt want to spoil the fun we were having. he says that he has made amistake and wont lie to me again, but im not sure if he did anything with this person all i want all i have ever wanted is honesty thats what i give him

[sqad617]

There is no such thing as a platonic heterosexual relationship involving secret emails and texts.

[ummmm312]

How about meeting her?

My mates girlfriend was convinced something was going on between us until she met me. She quickly realised that I wouldn't go near him with a barge pole.

[ummmm312]

Yes there is sqad.

[No,Knowledge]

christ i didn't know that sqad .................snaggy stop sending me e-mails ffs .

[Rollo]

Or he lied to you because he did not want you to know what was going on.

[jake-the-peg]

You sound like you're looking for a particular answer

You sound like you want people to say " Yes that's deceitful, he's betrayed you you can't forgive that"

If you want that I'm sure you'll find loads of people here that'll oblige.

If you really want help and this is threatening your relationship and you want to save it why not try relate.

They do phone counciling and will probably be pleasantly surprised that you've not waited for the "throwing pots and pans" stage

http://www.relate.org.uk/wantadvice/

[GINGER BIRD]

relate sounds brill and i wasnt looking for a particular answer thansk for all your help everyone i want to make it work xx

[redcrx]

Vibra, the lie was that he told her his friend was male.