I've typed this out already...

[ummmm]

But my computer lost the plot....!!!!

Here's the scenario.....

My sister has dealt with all aspects of my Dads funeral. I wasn't able :-((

Anyway....the 'charlatan' she got to erect his headstone has given her nothing but bother. She paid him £200 deposit and heard nothing since. She phoned, emailed, texted, sent letters, phoned the radio and spoke to trading standards. She then got 'mafia' with him. He put the headstone up then. We still owe him £120....which is fine as Dad has the money in his account. She has asked for an invoice because we can't take money out of his account without one. He phoned yesterday saying that if he didn't have the cash by today he's going to rip the headstone down....it has to be cash as well!!!!

It's his anniversary on Sunday :-((

What would happen if he did that? Trading standards have told us not to pay......Ginger phoned my sister last night and said he would pay it just because I was in bits.

How can someone make a threat like that knowing it's his anniversary?

Should Ginger go behind my sisters back and pay him? Just for my peace of mind?

[Barmaid]

For your peace of mind, yes just pay him. He sounds like a thoroughly unpleasant individual.

Then shop him to HMRC.

[China Doll]

Perhaps for your peace of mind.

And then probably deck him.

Or more sensibly, report him to trading standards, local rag and perhaps even the police for 'intimidating behaviour'.... Generally just legally make his life unplesant for a few weeks but only after the anniversary is out the way.

[mazie]

Hi ummmm. Sorry you are so upset. People are ***** If it was me I would just pay him. I dont think I could stand further upset at such a sad time. Just think Karma is a wonderful thing and his payback time will come. When my brother in law died at 36, we had a similar thing happen.this guy was saying he'd paid my BIL £10K for a car and he either wanted the car or his £10K back! He got really heavy and made some awful threats. this was days after my Sister had lost her husband! There are some rotten Barstewards out there hon. hope you resolve it xxxx

[NoMercy]

Just tell him that he can have his money once he provides an invoice. And tell him that if he makes any more threats regarding desecrating your father's resting place, you will be forced to seek assistance from the police.

[ummmm]

That's my problem. Ginge always takes us for a day out on any day concerning my Dad. Anniversary, Birthday and Fathers day. I'm soooo scared to go up there from the fear that his headstone has been ripped down (he checked last night)

I don't speak to my sister so he phoned her last night and asked for the details of this person so he could pay him. She won't tell him.....then they started arguing because he was accusing her of doing this just to hurt me.

She called him a ginger [email protected] he called her a fat [email protected] etc

But still.....I'm stressed :-(

[Bobbisox]

ummm this unsavoury character needs exposed for the waster that he is, involve your local Press in this, not sure if I would pay this piece of cr@p tho' but on the other side of it, it would be unbearable to your family for such a callous act, see if Ginger can ring him again and should he repeat this, record the conversation
I feel for you
Bobbi ♥

[yogi-bear]

Hi ummmm,

Thats awful, my love.
I would do a combination of what Barmaid and CD said.........pay it as it will be upseting inthe short term if he was to carry out his threat, the barsteward......and then shop him to ALL you possibly can and go to the local press, as CD suggests.....he will get his just desserts hopefully......Finance Specialist.

I sent you an e-mail earlier btw, honey xx

Hi to Barmaid, China Doll and Mazie xxx

[Bobbisox]

Oh sorry I thought Ginger knew who it was...Oh Dear

[ummmm]

She's asked him for an invoice. I told her (by text) send him one in a self addressed envelope and let him fill in the blanks (invoice number/amount)

He's now put it up to £400.....Ginger says he will still pay.

What would happen if he did desecrate my Dads grave though?

[Bobbisox]

this is why someone must seek outside advice on this ummm, have you spoken to the Police about the threat, they would of cause have to see your sister as well

[yogi-bear]

Ummmm,

If you were to report it to the police and he was to carry out his threat, they will be able to, hopefully, take action against him and at least you will have a record of it.
Just another option, sweetheart xx

[Barmaid]

Ummm, I suppose this numpty never gave your sister a quote in writing?

This is the "less peace of mind" way. Tell him unless he gives you an invoice in the original amount he can Fluff right off and he can do what he likes. Then get a decent stone mason to put up a headstone (which could be done very quickly). OK, so there's £200 gone (although he will not have made a lot out of it having purchased the stone, engraved it and erected it), but at least you get the satisfaction of telling him to do one.

This might be a really insensitive question to ask (so don't answer it if it upsets you) but what would your dad have done?

[pericat]

ummmm - would ginger be able to get info about this guy from the gravestone. Then I prob would pay him for peace of mind and then do what barmaid and CD said

[ummmm]

Hard one Bobbi. I think she threatened him first and that's why he put it up. There are 12 other people that she knows that after over two years still haven't got a headstone.

That's what I meant by going 'mafia' I think our surname sounds Italian....lol

[ummmm]

Barmaid....my Dad would have gone round to him with the Hurly....

[NoMercy]

I really don't think he can go around ripping out headstones, Ummmm. I'm sure there would be legal repercussions. And he certainly cannot go around inflating the price. I would contact the police.

[pericat]

ummmm - you just said there what your dad would have done and thats whats important here - your memories of your dad when he was alive

[Barmaid]

Peri is right ummmm. It's your dad's memory that is important. Don't let this Salads Chef stress you.

[ummmm]

Lol Peri.....what Dad would have done is illegal though :-)

[mccfluff]

salad chef?

hope you get it sorted, i can lend you some local nutters if you need them?