A serious crush

[fitforaking]

I've had a serious crush on this guy for a while now... we speak every night... but tonight he's told me that nothing can happen between us and that we will never meet each other... Im gutted... Im a great believer in whats for you will not go by you, so if it is meant to be he'll come back to me. He wants to stay friends but i cant be friends with him cos i fancy him so much... I know our conversations will lead back to sex like they always did... but i dont want to loose him either... I feel like such a fool. For some reason im finding it really difficult to find another guy who i like, everyone seems so skinny and doesnt fit the bill, my friends say im being too choosey. I cant go with just anyone though. I'm a pretty young woman, how hard can it be... At the moment im home breaking my heart over this... i know it seems trivial but in my heart its serious... advice please would be appreciated.,

[MarkRae]

By your own admission, you're a young person... So you have the whole of your life ahead of you. Forget this guy and move on to the next one.

One word of serious advice, though... How about trying a "real" man next time? And by that I mean a man that you meet for real...

[fitforaking]

thanks for that, im still hurting though...

[MarkRae]

No doubt - it's horrible when you find out that the person you love doesn't love you back...

You mention that you're finding it hard to find another man because we're all so skinny - are you into fat guys, then...?

Also, you say you're a pretty young woman so how hard could it be? Indeed so - in my experience, pretty young women really don't have too much difficulty in finding a man...

[fitforaking]

i dont know what it is, im not into fat guys i just like a proper man you know,,, lol

I dont want to sound shallow because im not... Guys are my friends, they dont notice me... i really liked this guy... and hoped for something to happen between us. I just want ot feel closeness. Im lonely. Hey can you see my real name ???

[MarkRae]

> Hey can you see my real name?

Yes.

And the apostrophe key on your keyboard is broken...

[fitforaking]

youve cheered me up :) thanks!!!!!!!

[andy-hughes]

The great thing about phone relationships is that they can be what you want them to be.

So, for your own purposes, you can have a vague image of this man. based on his voicec, and imagine him to be the kind of guy you like. What if he was nothing like that?

i used to speak to a girl regularly as part of my job, and we got very friendly with each other. One day, i was on holiday, and she spoke to one of my colleagues, and asked what i looked like? She said i had such a sexy voice, and in her mind I resembled a tall hunky he-man film star ...

My colleague almost needed oxygen for laughing so much she couldn't breathe!

She informed my phone friend that I looked a lot more like Woody Allen than a hunk, and as my hair went, i was morphing into Paul Mckenna!

My point is - fantasy relationships are just that - and rarely turn out well when you break the fundamental premise that makes the relationship work - anonymity.

Comfort yourself that it is perfectly possioble that he would break your image of him for ever, when this physically utterly unsuitable man appears, and then starts talkking in your fantasy man's voice.

Even worse, he may not be at all attracted to you - and that would mean rejection anyway.

See this relationship for what it is - a nice safe flirtation with no responsibility, no accountability, and sadly, by its very nature - no future.

Be open to attraction to people you meet, as friends, and as potential partners, and you will find it easier to get over this relationship which trust me, is far more transitory that you think or feel at this moment.

[piggynose]

andy-hughes seems to know what he´s talking about, mark raes comment about being pretty should mean it should be easy to find a bloke. well he´s right and he´swrong, i think you find you can attract a lot of admirers, but all for the wrong reasons. it is really hard to get over that particular man or woman, cuz you think he or she is simply unique, their actually not. Its only when you live with them and get to know then really well, is when you´ll know if its really love or infatuation