Depression and Overdoses

[ilsonchick]

Someone close in the family took an overdose today, not a serious one, went to hospital and was sent home told to drink plenty of water after 8 hours of observation - she was fine 3 weeks ago but has been diagnosed with depression a week ago - she tried to cut her wrists last week and now this today, i just wanted some advise really on how to deal with someone whose suicidal one minute and seems fine the next? Do you say "dont do that again" or what? Shes only just turned 20 and has told me shes depressed about work/money/general life....i really want to help her as she wont see her GP just yet

[karenmac60]

It's a difficult one if she won't see her dr, all you can really do is be there for her and listen to her - it's not easy to deal with on your own and she really should get professional help with it. Give her all the support you can but don't force the issue with her and don't treat her as though you don't trust her not to do something silly. Make sure she knows she's a valued individual and try to really listen when she talks - don't go on your preconceived ideas of who she is. That's all I can suggest really - you could maybe see if you can find an online support group who may be able to give you more practical advice. Good luck x

[bibblebub]

If you feel that she might open up then one possibility would be for her to talk to the Samaritans either on the phone or go to their premises. It would provide an opportunity for her to talk to someone unconnected to her family or friends when she wants, someone who will listen sympathetically but who can also give some objective advice (unless she is very unlucky with whom she speaks). Maybe just being able to talk anonymously to someone, anyone, outside of her immediate circle might provide the first step to sorting herself out.

Saying things like "don't do that again" or "snap out of it" shows no understanding of how she is feeling.

[Stephen_G]

I truly sympathize, ilson. I was in that place myself, 14 years ago (Apart from the self-harm). I only wish there was a simple solution to this, but, there isn't.

It MIGHT be Bi-Polar Disorder (Something I didn't believe in, but, I've had my mind changed on the subject). People who suffer from it have similar symptoms to what you describe. Fine one minute and then down the deepest, blackest hole the next. I did speak to my GP at the time I was at my worst and I felt a lot better for doing it.

I'd back what karen has said 100%. Hope things get better soon.

[Schlomo78]

I'm the same as Judge, I've suffered with depression my whole life (now on Prozac for several years, on and off). Several years ago I twice tried to commit suicide due to the depression and also being in a very abusive and violent relationship. Both times I was lucky, and my mother - who I have never ever got on with - was the most supportive person in the world to me, and still is. My sister however, told me I was very selfish and I didn't care about anyone but myself, and if I ever did it again she would never talk to me again. That was NOT the input I needed, and there is now quite an emotional distance between us, as what she said really, really hurt me.
You really need to get your relative to the G.P, and perhaps get them some counselling, I hear CBT is amazing for most people, I had traditional counselling for 2 years and it really helped having someone reaffirm what I already thought and also support me without judging me. If not, as Bibblebub mentioned, the Samaritans are amazing and may be able to convince your relative to seek other help.
I really, really feel for you, and I hope things get better soon.
X

[Greedyfly]

I sometimes thin kit is harder for those around a depressive than it is to be the depressed. I have suffered with depression since childhood and I really feel for those around me who have to put up with what I am like. When she is ready she really needs to seek help from her gp. All you can do is support her and try to keep an eye on her and be her friend.

Hope she feels better soon.

[ilsonchick]

Thanks for the answers people, i just dont understand as she doesnt have anything to worry about, shes got a lovely home, a lovely job which she enjoys, no debts or anything bad in her life so i just dont get the depression shes suddenly gone into? Im very understanding with her, and always say to her the lovely positive things she has in life but she just hits me back with all negative things, to which im like...??? what do i say? I know its hard not to say "dont do it again" but how do you say in a nice way dont try and kill yourself again? xx

[rowanwitch]

Unfortunately one of the key aspects with severe depression and even more so with conditions like bi polar is a loss of insight....distorted self image is one aspect of this and no matter how much people tell you you are valued you may believe you are worthless and the world and everyone in it would be better without you... sadly someone who has made two attempts already even if fairly ineffective is likely to try again without professional intervention... the hospital will notify the gP and she should have been seen by a psychiatrist before leaving hospital who would have assessed the immediate risks.... ( rather than cries for help the previous attempts may be safer viewed as practice)...Hopefully now she has a proper diagnosis she will be treated but she may need a referral to a specialist,
As posters above have said you need to stay supportive and help her feel positive about herself, but also encourage her to go to her GP and to stick with any treatment she is offered...

[karenmac60]

The thing about depression Ilson, is that you don't need to have a reason to be depressed. Your life can be absolutely wonderful and you can be the envy of everyone, but it's not generally caused by your surroundings or circumstances, it's a chemical imbalance in the brain which makes you so down. That in turn can cause your perceptions of your life to be distorted so that you only see the negative and it then feeds on itself. She really should see her doctor, there is no shame in it. If she had diabetes or something which meant her body wasn't producing the right chemicals to function properly then she would go wouldn't she? It's the same thing only it's her brain which is affected.

[Stephen_G]

I'm a great Football lover, but the Italian games on Channel 4 used to set me off - seriously. If it was p1$$1ng down with rain and it was a boring 0 - 0 draw, I'd be under a cloud for days.

Have a read of this...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder

[wolf63]

I am bipolar and everything that has been posted above is right. Everything gets warped when I am ill - it is like living in a surreal nightmare.

There is nothing in my life that would make me depressed. I am usually a cheerful person with a healthy cynicism about life. It is just that my brain isn't well. I wander through life in a foggy, confused state due to the illness AND the medication.

[Schlomo78]

How have you got on Ilsonchick? x